Depression and Anxiety Support Thread

I'd date you ._.

 

Hey, at least you manage to get out of your shitty relationships after only 2 months. I on the other hand had a nasty habit of clinging to them long past the point where they became toxic due to my own insecurities. My first relationship was on and off for a year or so and my second one ended up lasting almost 10, even though we both knew it was over after about year 3. So you feel bad about not being able to find a decent partner and lasting relationship? Be glad you haven't wasted a third of your life on a bad one. Even though it's been almost 2 years since it ended and I'm now very happy with @Amberina, I still haven't quite forgiven myself for that last relationship.

The only advice I can give to help you start getting into better relationships is to take some time to yourself and really think about what made the past ones failures or, as you said, doomed from the start. Was it you? Was it them? Some combination thereof? Be honest with yourself and once you think you've got the red flags all figured out...avoid them. Be vigilant and start avoiding them like the plague.

 

The man spits hot wisdom!

 

Come and get me.

 

I feel that I don't have much to contribute to this thread, so I'll just leave this here and be on my way.

 

You are most certainly /not/ worthless. I may have only talked to you a few times but I've learned that you are kind and we share the same interests and such.
You're great and you are loved and you have a purpose in this world.

 

Thanks. I've had some time to have the feeling numb. Probably not gonna be in serious relationship for a while. I can't handle it.

 

You're very welcome. I'm always here if you need me.
I hope things get better for you soon. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers.

 

Not depressed. Pissed off and needing to vent. My mom recently had surgery on her knee
This Saturday she went out with my brother and his wife. His wife refused to sit in the back kept placing things in my mom's way preventing her from stretching out her leg. Then refused to let my mom out the car at shop doors and bitched every time the store only had manual wheelchairs. My brother not only letting this go on was defending his wife's point of view.

Now to my grandparents. My grandmother recently had a stroke. My uncle is being an ass and is trying to pawn his problems on my grandpa who is so weak after his last hospital visit can't walk around (he can stand but getting on and off the toilet is out of the question). Also my uncle still tried to kick my cousin out of my grandparents house, saying my mentality disabled cousin needs the room more. No my uncle wants his kids out of house so him and his druggie wife can fuck. On top of all this my grandma blamed her stroke on my grandpa to his face.

WTF

My grandpa told me I get all the land their houses sit on once him and my grandma pass on. I will remember this day. And a Reckoning will come down on them all.

 

Dang I'm very sorry that happened. it's hard to care and help the elderly, I know , but you can maintain intergrity and be empathetic. the wife needs to learn some empathy big time.

 

I know I'm emotionally unstable. This depressing moment is brought on the realization that my store is a joke. I be been open for nearly a year and haven't broke 25 sells. I can make anything. I made a pentrable in a month. I can build anything. I've built houses, cars, Industrial systems. Worked on multi-million dollar equipment and fixed a .50 toy. Yet I can not sell a damn thing.
I know I'm not artist and not gifted in making pretty things but where do I go. Who wants someone like me? Where do I go?

 

I think you have to look at the fact that you bothered to start a business being a huge positive in itself. Most people don't have the initiative to do that or they don't follow through with the plan. But you're a small business and that's really tough. The odds of success are not high. There are probably many Etsy stores that never make a single sale. And of course the few who are wildly successful. But you've made sales and it looks like the feedback is really positive so that's great! Can it always be better? Yes. But we all have to start somewhere.

As someone who has owned a small online business before, sure it was depressing to compare myself with the big competitors who sold things for 10x the price and sold 100x as much. In the end, my most successful products were the ones I simply gave away for free... some might call that a joke. But people loved them and reading the positive reviews makes me feel like it was worthwhile, even though I couldn't make anything like a living from the work. Like in 10 years I've probably not earned the value of my time initially spent developing the products. Apparently I touched people's lives in a positive way and that's OK :3

In the end you have to discover what you want from life and make it happen. Me? I don't want to make a fortune. Some people do, or they want a great job and to climb the social ladder. We all have our priorities. I'm content with creating things and solving problems even if I never get much credit for it. I don't like playing all the games that come with typical notions of "success."

 

I've been painfully depressed for several months now. I'm constantly holding all my emotions back or having to "switch them off" so I don't become overwhelmed by the crushing weight of it. Or show those around me what I'm really feeling. A few months ago a woman from my past (it's been 5 to 6 years ago) began communicating with me again. I've known her for 10 years or more. We only ever shared a friendship with each other, though I eventually confessed more to her. But things of course didn't work out. Whatever mental troubles she was going through prevented her from telling me what she truly wanted and felt. As I said, a few months ago she started talking to me again. She made apologies and asked for forgiveness, admitting her mistakes in pushing me away and letting me go. She met up with me while I was on a lunch break, drove 45 minutes to come and see me. We held hands, touched and kissed. That had never happened 5 years ago. During these few months, we've only seen each other a couple times. We have both realised that we were supposed to be together. We are what is called "twin Flames". But life and problems got in the way.

When we went our separate ways years ago, we both went into other relationships. Since then we have both been married to other people. But secretly missing each other. I know many times, more than I can count, i told myself I felt nothing for her. And yet I thought about her almost every day.

So now we carry on this secret love affair, online. Hoping that somehow, someday we can find a way to be together. I actually have a lot more to lose than she does. I have a family. Kids. ...but I find myself, thinking about leaving. My relationship with my wife isn't great. Without going into details, I would have been justified leaving for a while now. The problems...I just let them go and continue on. We have a daughter together and a son soon to be here. I love her, but I also love this other woman.

Most nights I dream of her. And she claims to dream of me often. We chat every night. We hide it from our SO's. All of it.

I sit most nights and cry in front of my computer, staring at the screen and praying to whatever Gods will listen, to find a way. She says she cries too. We both hurt and long for each other. But she won't leave Him, even though it might as well be a loveless marriage for her. And I can't leave what I have. I don't know anymore. I don't even know who I am anymore.

 

I figured no one has replied to this yet bc its such a tangled up mess, but I wanna take a stab at it. This is a lot of info and it helps me to divide it up into smaller bits, so here I go:

The Kids : This isn't about just you anymore. You have children, children that didn't get to choose to be part of this equation. Your very first obligation is to consider their needs before anything else. You owe them healthy food, water, shelter, your time and love, that's all. Whatever goes on between you and the two ladies can not interfere with what you're doing for the kids, that's a separate problem. I'm sure you don't want your children to grow into adults that will have your problems, so do what you can to be the best example you can be. The kids will be happiest if they know they're parents are happy. Who lives where and whos married to who won't matter to them at all.

The Old Flame: You and her broke up in the past for a reason. She can list all the excuses under the sun, but when you boil it down, she decided that your relationship was a limb to be pruned away. Whatever problems she was experiencing back then, she didn't trust you to share them with her and help support her through them, which is the ENTIRE thing healthy, committed relationships and marriages is built upon. She loved you, but left you anyway and she may very well do it again. Her character as a person doesn't lend itself to trust. She, as a married woman, contacted you after all these years, learned you were married, had children and STILL participated in a affair with you, no admirable person does something like that. She is only concerned with satisfying her own feelings and I see nothing but heartbreak for you if you continue to pursue her.

3) The Wife: You probably do love your wife, but not as a fully dedicated husband should. You're living a lie right now and the thing about lies is that they always find a way to the surface. When you weigh your options its either "Be The Bad Guy Who Asked For A Divorce" or "Be That Piece Of Shit Caught Cheating On His Wife". Theres no painless way out of this unfortunately, that ship sailed the moment you said "I Do". I can only guess that your wife is experiencing all this the same way you are, but SHE probably doesn't have the loving arms of a 2nd party soothing away her pain, shes suffering alone and that's unfair. Ask for a divorce, BUT please assure her that it doesn't mean you'll be abandoning her. Most of people's fear of divorce stems in the idea that they'll be alone and the EX is going to become an enemy hellbent on making they're life as hard as possible. Don't let her feel that way. Tell her that you still want to be good friends and still want joint custody of the kids. She might actually be relieved to be out of the marriage if shes been feeling as empty about it as you.

4) Being a divorcee: Its going to be disorienting being on your own again, but it will be worth it to get control of your life. Cut off communication with Old Flame, nothing good will come of that as no relationship born in deceit has ever prospered. You need to spend some time alone and figure out who you are as an individual.

 

Thank you for your input. Very much appreciated.

 

I hate that I've been feeling so crappy I don't feel like my new antidepressants are helping. I just really been feeling like giving up and just finally ending it . I mean I don't feel like I matter and I don't really do anything positive in anyone's life. I'm not lucky and everything seems to be going wrong for me. I just wish I was someone else because who I am just isn't good enough. I got to make it through the semester so I'll graduate but after that I don't know. Life just seems too hard sometimes and I'm so tired of it all.

 

I'm sorry you feel bad. Please don't do anything brash. We will miss you and I would be sad to not meet you next spring

 

I ended up calling one of those hotlines but it hung up on me LOL I'm doing a lot better now and I'm thankful I didn't do anything Brash it just was really distressing how I felt. I definitely got to talk to the therapist about the medicine again I don't think I want to be on medicine anymore all of these antidepressants are making things worse. I'd rather deal with the anxiety than this. I almost forgot I'm really excited to get to see you in the spring I got to make it to see you

 

I feel like the deck is stacked against me. Where do I go? Hell how much money do other people have to start with. I had a printer, a grand in supplies, and a set of instructions; alot of which were bust. I can make anything but I never get sales I don't get the viral ads that keep popping in my social feeds and I'm struggling to hold on to calm. I could use some help (I don't mean emotional cause that's all I ever get). All I get is, "You need to advertise". Okay where damn it. Cause I found a few spots willing to take on a dicksmith and it will cost me 200+ a month (that's half my rent).
Fuck it I'm making an idiegogo hopefully I can get the funds to make the XL sizes. All I hear is I'll buy if it were bigger.
Just so you all know it will take 3 grand for me to break the 10" mark. 1800 for the printer and 1200 for all the silicone.

Also I found out all tax breaks for self-employment has been killed so I'll probably have to pay into taxes this year even though I've made less than 12 grand.

I have rage and drive now I need a heading.

 

I'm sorry all I can give at the moment is emotional support I feel guilty. I think it's amazing that you have your own store I really do. The only thing I could think that might get you some additional sales is if you made some sort of little squishies or sample discs I know I tend to buy those kind of things a lot while they don't make a whole lot of money for some reason they draw people in. I didn't know it was that much to make larger sizes and I'm so very sorry that it's that way. I don't know how to help you other than to buy some of your stuff and I'm sorry that I haven't at the moment I feel bad. Don't give up. I knew someone who had a ceramic shop I worked for I barely made any money and it was hard work but I could see that there were people who wanted the crafts. I know there's a market and I know there's people willing to buy your stuff I'm just trying to think of ways that maybe we could all help you.