1. NEW TRADE POLICIES COMING TO FORCE SOON: IMPORTANT READ!: READ HERE

The "Bad Mood" Thread

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Dr. Tran, Aug 5, 2014.

  1. PrincessGustopher

    PrincessGustopher The Fluffiest Fluff Butt

    Joined:
    Aug 5, 2014
    Messages:
    249
    Likes Received:
    177
    Oh man I basically just dropped off the face of the internet for a while there...So much happened that I don't want to go on a 50 billion character long rant but play by play here...

    - Spending lots of time at friends house to get away from stuff
    - Been on T for about 6 months now and have had the worst time getting in to see my T doctor + have had a hard time getting my medication (all solved now but it was stressful as fuck)
    - Hospital trip; found out I've been dealing with 2 herniated discs and a pinched nerve in my lower back, still haven't been able to get in to see a doctor so still in tons of pain
    - 3 trips to the hospital for mom within a month, 4 times the paramedics were called over too
    - Mom passed away on the first of the month (4 days before my birthday) and I'm still having a terrible time coping with her death

    Can honestly say the only reason I'm still around is because of my friends and my animals (because I know my step dad would toss them to the curb if I ever did anything to myself). I know people will say 'things get better' but honestly, it doesn't feel like it. I lost my mom, my rock, my closest friend...I didn't even get to say goodbye. I feel like its my fault. That if I checked on her a little earlier, she'd still be alive...I know she's not hurting now but fuck...I'm 22, I shouldn't lose a parent this early....

    There's been good things such as becoming closer to my friends, getting better at games, ect....but so much bad has happened that I don't know how much worse it'll get unless I lose my best friend...then it would be just...yeah not thinking about that.

    Annnddd this turned out long oh boy sorry about that...but yeah...it's been a reaaaalll shit show in my life...*sighs*
     
  2. Exeter

    Exeter Cuddly, Snuggly, Slutty Dragon

    Joined:
    Aug 5, 2014
    Messages:
    5,060
    Likes Received:
    5,751
    Dude... That's absolutely terrible, I'm so sorry to hear it... I wish I was closer so I could try to be there in a more personal way, sounds like you need friends right now :(
     
  3. blaidd_drwg

    blaidd_drwg is never satisfied

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2014
    Messages:
    296
    Likes Received:
    193
    My morning routine is ruined.
    Today is the first day of school in my area. My 7 year old (she just turned), and my wife's little brother (he's 17) go back to school today.

    My daughter's response to being woke up at 5:30am. "It's in the middle of the night! You're lying!"
     
    Velixer, MurphyAlter and Exeter like this.
  4. Serathaiya

    Serathaiya Draenei Tail Puller.

    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2014
    Messages:
    578
    Likes Received:
    423
    I feel for you...I was taken from both of my parents at an early age along with my brother. I still blame myself (I know I shouldn't but....) and remember exactly how it happened and this all occurred when I was 7...I found drugs and a needle in a drawer and opened my mouth. It didn't help I hated going to school and was glued to my NES, not going. I remember to distracting my brother with it since he asking me where our parents were at 2AM when I didn't even know myself.

    I learned recently that my mother has been gone for some time now and never had got in touch with my brother and I....she was with another man which would make things very awkward so I can partially understand but I'm also pissed off because I feel like she didn't want to handle the responsibility. I had a lot of questions I'll never know the answers to but...that's life. Hope things are smoother sailing for you from here.


    As for why I'm here, two things:

    -I might have IBS. I could never figure out why my body would randomly want to evacuate it's tailhole. I don't trust doctors...one bad experience was enough, but so far everything I've done in terms of research has pointed to the same thing. The bonus is that there's no cure and it can easily be triggered by stressful events which explains why I had concurrent problems eating and shitting during traumatic times. After I was taken from my parents it got pretty bad and I started to make more stomach acid than was normal and had to take the worst tasting meds to combat it...well...it wasn't going after the problem directly.

    Work is pretty stressful and I spend periods of time bored out of my mind which agitates me like nothing else, not counting my boss doing his rounds finding something to complain about so he can belittle, argue and lecture you.. So...basically if I get riled up enough, my body says "FUCK THIS" and puts the colon into overdrive.

    I'm saying might, I don't want to say yes, this is a real pain to deal with, and it's interfering with work. Not only that but it's embarassing as fuck and having to tell my boss this is going to be met with more of his bullshit.

    I swear if he makes something out of this, I'm going to just drop it on the floor, preferably carpeted, so he can witness the beauty he helped me create. :eek:

    That said...guess what....toying actually helps me tremendously in this regard. Toying means cleanouts which give me time to plan and such. Still...I'm choked.
     
  5. Velixer

    Velixer The Musical Draconic Muse

    Joined:
    Aug 5, 2014
    Messages:
    4,401
    Likes Received:
    3,144
    Just feeling kinda down and lonely cause all of my friends are off doing things and unavailable...even online is completely dead...
     
    Corbett likes this.
  6. Robert Thompson

    Robert Thompson Reaper of Fallen Toys, Porn King

    Joined:
    Aug 9, 2014
    Messages:
    1,486
    Likes Received:
    750
    Yeah I know how that is
     
    Corbett likes this.
  7. Kovu

    Kovu Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 5, 2014
    Messages:
    369
    Likes Received:
    281
    Bump I guess?

    Just need a place to rant.

    So recently me and my ex split up and since I've been in a very long very vanilla/boring relationship I'm on a few websites looking for friends/fun/new experiences, etc. I am always very polite and only message people who I feel I have a lot in common with or tick all their boxes for what they are looking for. Always read their whole profile and comment on aspects of it and leave a few questions/things about myself for them to have something to reply to rather than some boring "Hi, how are you?" or "What to fuck?" Like most people seem to send - sad thing is I know they get more replies than I do and it's really starting to get to me. I'm getting really sick of trying so hard and getting nothing in return, even a "Not interested, thanks" would be nice...
     
  8. Capositus

    Capositus Nekotime

    Joined:
    Nov 1, 2017
    Messages:
    67
    Likes Received:
    10
    I wanna start by saying that this is pretty brutal, so if you don't like to read that sort of stuff, than ignore my message, but..

    My depression and self harm feelings are coming back, and idk what to do. I feel like just sleeping forever, or just smacking my head into a wall, to forget everything and end up being restless.. I have been wondering about beginning taking drugs or drinking alchohol to forget, but I know that in the end, it would fuck me up even more.. Nothing feels good when I am like this. It's like living in a world where everything around you is completely dark, and your only way to escape that world is to forget, or harm yourself, to make things get brighter.
    Sorry if this was too much I just felt like this would be the place to put it, hope you understand.
     
  9. GreyFoxx

    GreyFoxx Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 21, 2014
    Messages:
    302
    Likes Received:
    249
    Hey sometimes it's best to get it out then keep it in. I would suggest seeking much safer avenues to work with your depression. Going the booze or self-harm route isn't the best and probably could lead to more nasty results. Find a bright spot. hobbies? Favorite things that put a smile even a crack of a upper lip turning the frown up is a start :).
     
    Capositus likes this.
  10. Capositus

    Capositus Nekotime

    Joined:
    Nov 1, 2017
    Messages:
    67
    Likes Received:
    10
    Thanks for your reply. I have actually been doing self-harm before, but stopped and haven't done it majorly in over 6 months I believe, which is a pretty good thing for me xP Idk if it's the winter that makes me get depressed again, but I have just begun getting down, but I'm still fighting xP
    I have hobbies, like gaming, and playing with EDC(Every Day Carry) skill toys, but to me it's never the same as actual social interaction, which I don't get a lot of when I sit inside moat of the day because of the fear of talking to strangers, or getting attention from them xD I'm working on it though
     
    GreyFoxx likes this.
  11. Kovu

    Kovu Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 5, 2014
    Messages:
    369
    Likes Received:
    281
    Well turns out I'm just a fucking idiot and someone to be played around with.

    Had been chatting to someone new (Not on here) and connecting really well and planned to meet up chill and what not. So far as for them to just call themselves my girlfriend (how well we connected) so we are meant to meet today, got a hotel booked as they don't exactly live super close to me so I can chill and if she wants to we can go hang out there. (we'd talked about it) So last night everything fine all set and planned. Wake up today, blocked, on everything I have her on. Great. Why do I even fucking bother all that ever happens is I get hurt and used.
     
  12. blaidd_drwg

    blaidd_drwg is never satisfied

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2014
    Messages:
    296
    Likes Received:
    193
    ...heart wrenching pain...this time it won't go away.
     
  13. Capositus

    Capositus Nekotime

    Joined:
    Nov 1, 2017
    Messages:
    67
    Likes Received:
    10
    Maybe you should see a doctor? Seems like serious heart problems..
     
  14. blaidd_drwg

    blaidd_drwg is never satisfied

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2014
    Messages:
    296
    Likes Received:
    193
    I wish that would make a difference. I wish I could just take it out. I don't need it anymore.
     
  15. Reptile

    Reptile Semi-Professional Butthole Spelunker

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2014
    Messages:
    2,360
    Likes Received:
    2,017
    Well...there's six years of sobriety down the toliet. Back to square one
     

Share This Page