Sucks that some members of your family are like that. Sounds like they really don't want to see you improve or do well, at least in this aspect. Hopefully that doesn't bleed over to other areas.
Feverdream's post above is pretty spot on. Only thing I disagree with is that I don't think there's any evidence that going below 1200 calories in a day is some kind of hard limit to never go below. A shorter, smaller, sedentary person might eat that low or less.
I'm pretty experienced in losing weight at this point. Probably gone from between ~10%-20% (intentionally, both ways) 4 or 5 times over the last 5 years . Things that helped me the most in losing:
1: LISS (low-intensity steady state) cardio. Very useful for creating a larger deficit. It doesn't wear you out, and you can do it a long time. I am also a weightlifter (kind of a recreational powerlifter, historically, but now getting into recreational bodybuilding.) Lifting weights does not burn many calories; it's for building muscle. You can burn way more calories briskly walking compared to lifting weights. At least with any consistency. That said: Building muscle is very helpful.
2: Realize calories are the only factor that dictates which direction your weight will trend over time (up or down.) I.E: If my weight hasn't gone up or down, I am eating at maintenance by definition. If it's going up, I'm eating in a surplus, and down means a deficit. No counting required. When I want to lose weight, I do not radically alter my diet. I just eat less of the things I already eat. That said, looking at calories is still useful so you know whether a particular food is a good choice.
3: Develop healthier eating choices. Generally highly calorie dense foods are poor choices when losing weight (stuff like nuts, peanut butter, mayo, candy, any cooking oils, muffins (the worst!)) This stuff is very easy to eat a lot of because it's not filling. Literally filling. That is, it doesn't take up a lot of space, and has a lot of calories to boot. When losing weight, I avoid anything that could make up a large part of my daily calories, especially if it does so without also making me full. To get full on peanut butter, I'd have to eat 1000 calories of the stuff, and same goes for most calorie dense food.
3-B: Related to #2. Figure out a bunch of satiating (makes you full) foods / meals that you can afford, don't have a bunch of calories, and you like. For me, personally, that list is:
1. Lean meats (though I still love red meats, I strain out some fat.) Fish.
2. Eggs.
3. Oatmeal (I add fruit for flavor.)
3. Almost any fruit and vegetable (there's ways to screw this up. Don't main-line avocados, even if they're healthy.) Don't cook them in oils. Starchy vegetables are fine; they are filling. I like bananas, apples, and oranges for quick snacks. Frozen berries (so they keep longer.) Canned vegetables so they keep better. They're all still healthy.
4. Skim milk (technically possible to drink a ton and get a lot of calories, but I am not compelled to.)
5. Spices, fat-free and sugar free syrups, condiments, sweeteners and flavors. A lot of healthy food can be bland. This helps. Stevia and aspartame is better than adding sugar. Fuck the "studies." They help you reduce calories.
6. Bulk, plain, whey protein powder. Not really necessary for most people, but useful if you have any physique goals (muscle building.) It's just food (protein) in powder form. I'm a little crazy and bought about 20 kg for about ~$250. I eat some every day. It will probably last over a year.
3-C: Also related to #2. Things I stopped eating on diets.
1. Soda.
2. Coffee-shop made coffee. You don't know what's in there. Could be a 500 calorie cup of coffee, or a quarter of the average day.
3. ice cream
4. Full-fat ground beef (still eat it, but I remove a lot of fat.)
5. Pizza (I make a lot of home-made pizza, but only when trying to gain weight or maintain.)
5. Nuts. They're tasty, and "healthy," but not for losing weight.
Everyone has their lists. I would come up with yours. Things you can see yourself eating every day, fill you up, and you enjoy.
I am probably at ~20% bodyfat right now. A little higher than I really wanted to go, but it's fine. I'll start losing around 1-2 lb/week starting in January or February.
Last edited: Dec 20, 2019