The "Bad Mood" Thread

I'll say again, if shes not an impressionable dupe who would take the word of a bunch of people she doesn't know over yours, then you'll both be fine. Though tbh your "friends" aren't being very friendly in respecting your wishes about meddling and however you've been telling them that, ramp it up a few degrees so they know you mean business. Real friends will take the hint.

 

She isn't a impressionable dupe but she does get uncomfortable fast and tends to shy away from anywhere between days to weeks to months. So that worries me a lot because for a year we didn't speak since our lives got too busy and now we're just beginning to become comfortable again.

Trust me I've tried but they just keep playing it off as 'Oh, well, it's gonna happen one day anyway' and just laugh it off and it hurts because they never ever take me seriously. I think for once I might have to scream at them to get them to stop because it's been upsetting me a lot more recently.

 

Sometimes screaming at your friends really helps. People often shuffle stuff away and make assumptions about what's important in friendships and relationships. Sometimes, people take emotional support and trust for granted. They hurt people who they supposedly care about because they are so comfortable in friendship they forget to treat a situation with care and compassion. Sometimes, you need to wake them up. Sometimes, they need to be reminded that even friends can have their feelings hurt.

 

oh hell no they didn't >
I'm sure literal screaming won't get you anywhere, but if you talk to each friend individually, inform them that they're not being a very good friend for not being serious about what you say, then theres no friendship to be had and you're going to move on. Some might call that a threat, but I see it as common sense. Why in the world would I want to invest any time and energy into people who treat me like a joke all the time.

 

Considering what happened recently with another friend of ours (we told her to get out of our lives since she was talking shit about all of us + made transphobic comments about our other friend and me) you'd think they would be more compassionate and care more about things. I think everyone is in the state of mind where 'oh well everything is gonna be okay cause we're all like family and nothing bad can happen since we got rid of the bad egg'. I'll have a talk with my best friend and she'll talk to everyone else about it. She's better at getting their attention than i am.

They have several times. They've also taken my phone (trying to unlock it to look at my messages between me and her + hide it so we can't talk to each other) and keep pushing me to try and sleep with her when I go to visit in October (which won't happen since I'm asexual and she isn't interested in having sex either since she'd rather have a meaningful relationship with someone that doesn't involve any or very little sex to begin with). So...they're being pretty terrible with it.

Like I said above in response to Exeter, I'll have a chat with my bestie since she's been the one who hasn't been on my ass in this whole situation. She actually knows my friend (she's known her as long as I have) and probably has sensed how uncomfortable i've been.

 

Good luck boo, im rootin for ya

 

See I KNEW the bf would go off on mission or whatever and after we had an argument. That is NOT what I wanted to happen. I wanted to leave off on a good note but...wasn't having any of it :[ ugh that's just great. Now I get to sit here and twiddle my thumbs until he messages me. Which may be days or weeks.

 

I don't know what the fight was about but by the time he gets back to you it probably won't be relevant anymore.
A crucial part of relationships is knowing when to let some arguments go. Not every little issue that crops up needs a court case. Its a fast way to drive a wedge in a relationship because its just exhausting to deal with and makes them very reluctant to communicate.

 

The only fight I've ever had with my boyfriend involved him misunderstanding something I said. He got emotional about it and got angry and sounded on the verge of tears, so I got angry right back, explained myself better, and we were fine. Sometimes I worry that we don't fight, but I trust it's just because we communicate a lot and are always on the same page. I know exactly how he'll react to things and I know exactly how to frame things to get the best response, by taking all his emotional states into account.

 

Are y'all at that couple telepathy point yet lol

 

Noooooo I like to talk lol too much, he often tells me I don't need to reiterate something I've explained or told him a bunch of times but he doesn't get it, I need to talk to get my thoughts to cohere sometimes, even if I've told him before, I need to vocalise to make things make sense

 

@Misskin It was about the Facebook relationship status. It wasn't what I really wanted to talk about but I wanted to ask if he'd changed his mind about it. It was a stupid argument and I tried to change the subject, but his reaction was much like @Exeter 's boyfriend's reaction; he took something I said the wrong way. I was saying how I just wanted to talk to him when I was able. Meaning when he was online and available. But he blew his top. And I told him I didn't mean it the way he thought and I tried to apologize and everything else. I waited a few hours, and apologized again, saying I didn't want to have him to be gone for a few days with the argument being the last thing, meaning the last thing on his mind. He texted back asking what I meant and I told him.

I just wanted to change the subject. And now I gotta hold off on the conversation I really wanted to talk about which is how I really feel about him.

 

He always tells me I think too much about stuff. But when I feel as insecure as I do and worry about him almost constantly it's really hard to not think. I know when some thoughts seem unrealistic of course but maybe some of the things I do think about are best vocalized to my support network.

 

Oh yes, I am EXACTLY like that too.

 

Aww darlin
The best thing you can do is wait for him to contact you first and just tell him how much you missed him and love him. I wouldn't even mention the FB thing because your actions will speak much louder than your words. Its like the difference between someone verbally telling you it will be okay vs them hugging you instead

 

We're always here to be part of your global conscience, if you're worried something your guts tells you to do might make him react negatively, just bring it to us and we'll help you think through it ^^\

 

The one time I said I loved him I wasn't sure I meant it and I dunno why I said it at the time. we had a brief conversation about it. But now I know how I feel, and will emphasize that.

 

I've had some scary luck with the love word, everyone who has said it to me said it VERY early into our relationships where I didn't even know if I liked them. My boyfriend said it before we even met I think, we'd just been having long night-time phone calls. My ex said it on like our second date, which really just consisted of her coming over for sex. One of the guys I went on a solo night with told me he could see himself falling in love with me, and I had just met him too. People aren't choosey enough with that word ><

 

I only say it if I mean it, and don't if I don't or am unsure of how I really feel. I explained to him I was confused because that was when he was actually leaving and I hope he didn't take it to mean I didn't mean it. Just was unsure of how I felt. I told Hun I needed some time to figure out my feelings. We have been together as a couple since July 23ish. I just wanted time to make sure. I feel sure but I'm going to hold off on that conversation though for another month or son just to be so absolutely sure that...well you get it I'm sure xD

 

Oh... there goes the pep in my step.
Just got my physics exam back that I thought I aced... 55.