The "Bad Mood" Thread

I still would have driven up there myself

 

i would offer a hand, but i dont know what to do or say other than that im here if you need to talk; and that you can trust that nobody else will know.

 

I don't like the way things are going one bit, everything's in slow motion and all next week I can't take up anything else (like internships or dentist appt) but work and by then October's more than halfway done. Makes me angry and bitter. I hope next month is better.

 

Chances are I will.

 

I know it probably wouldn't feel like it's helping, but sometimes the best thing to do is call 911 and tell them your friend's address, and what she's planning on doing. They could hold her long enough for her to get help. And if she's been contemplating it so much, and wants it so badly, she may be tempted to do it before you get there. You need to tell her to have someone else burn that dress and throw away every blade in the house. If she knows exactly how she wants to go, she'll be less likely if she makes it impossible to go like that.

And I saw you allude to it, but I don't think you made it entirely clear that if she killed herself, she wouldn't be causing everyone pain "one last time", she'd cause everyone she knows to be in pain every time they think of her. With people like her mom, that would be every day for the rest of her life.

 

Thanks to that stupid fucking light that hit me in the stupid fucking neck on stupid fucking Thursday I technically lost 100+ stupid fucking dollars because I couldn't work on Friday. And I could have spent that cash on more important things, like dildos...

pics of the injury: http://imgur.com/a/2zCob

stupid fucking...

 

That...
Looks bad. Any stitches required?

 

Yep, 8 external and probably a few internal. Sure was fun :/

 

Oh god that was way worse than I expected. You better disinfect that thing like hourly. x.x

 

Scabs are nature's band-aid so I'll be fine.

 

Super pissed at the minute. I was happily playing fantasy life on my 3ds xl and the battery light starts flashing. So grab my charger off the side, plug it in to the mains and my ds. But the light was still flashing. I was like wtf, plugged it into another socket, still flashing, then another, still flashing. So I've turned off my ds and I'm now hoping its the charger and not the console. Because I do not have the funds to buy a new one and I have only had it over a year.
I wanna get back to fantasy life.

 

I know. I had a very lengthy phone conversation with her last night and have talked to her pretty much all day today and she's in better spirits. Our mutual friend Emma is seeing her tonight as well as taking her to go see a psychiatrist on Friday, she recognizes that she desperately needs help and she's show enthusiasm about things in the future (like me being back up there next month, or taking her to Disney World which for whatever fucking reason she's never been to, etc,) which to me and everyone I've talked to makes it seem like she's not actually going to do anything, otherwise I would've called 911, followed by Emma so that she could haul her ass over there to give me that little bit of peace of mind while I floor it up 95 and try to make a 12 hour drive one way fit into a 6 hour window.

I had the most vivid, terrifying and morbid nightmare I've ever had last night, and it was of her, killing herself. I don't think I can describe how uneasy, how nauseous, how anxious I was about her last night, my hand wouldn't stop trembling and it killed me to be going against my instincts by not driving up there as soon as she mentioned how she would do it. There's absolutely no way that I wouldn't alert the authorities if I felt that she was really that much of a risk to herself, fuck if I didn't talk to her on the phone last night and actually got a bit more then just words on a fucking screen then I know I would have.

And yeah, that's exactly what I told her, both on Skype as well as on the phone. I asked her how she thought her parents would react to finding her dead and she responded with "Responsible, but they wouldn't be responsible," and I kinda lost my cool a bit and told her that if she were to actually do something so incredibly stupid and selfish over something so fucking meaningless that everybody, everybody who cared about her, everybody she cared about would be feeling that pain for a long fucking time, and her parents wouldn't be the only ones trying to figure out what they could have done differently. And she started sobbing a bit after I said that, so maybe I got through to her. I still have a bag packed in case I do need to go up there and I'm still feeling anxious, but not as much as yesterday.

 

trust me when i say that sometimes you might want to take care.
try some vitamin E oil on it. helps it a lot with scabs. but with something that big i would recommend some gauze over the oil so it doesnt get everywhere.

im hoping that things turn out for all of you. i cannot really help but i guess something to be said that there is more support?

 

Just had a look at the photo. Why the heck did they not stitch that wound? Or even steri-strip it at least.

 

I really miss my dad. It's almost a year since he died (27th of October), and it hurts

 

I am a patient impatient person. Waiting on my boyfriend to contact me is hard. And it's only been two days.

 

He took her back. What in the fuck. Don't get me wrong, as her friend it's great that he did, she's definitely worth the second chance especially based on her guilt-ridden reaction to finally being honest about what she did, but as someone who wants her so badly, so much more then I've wanted anything else, I just feel lost about what to do now. I have no doubt that their relationship isn't going to work out just because of distance alone, and the fact that she's already struggling super hard to scrape things together to go over and see him, but I don't think I can just grit my teeth and wait until that sinks in for her. And I feel sorry for her, because their relationship started with him projecting his trust issues onto her, completely unwarranted but in turn justified by her actions, and it's just going to go right back to that because whatever trust was there is now completely gone. And then if she does go over and gets to meet him for the first time ever, regardless of if they end up being compatible in person or not at the end of the day she's still going to come back here, and that's either going to eat away at her because he's everything she hoped for or she's going to be asking herself why she didn't just let go when she had the opportunity to.

I don't fucking know what to do with myself. I told her I was going to disappear for a bit, not because of any this (straight up lie, I know,) but because I've been struggling since being back down here (which makes my reasoning a half-truth,) and I need some time to myself to get my head back on straight. Maybe I'll figure it out during this but I just, I feel fucking lost and dumbfounded and stupid.

Edit: Nevermind, I know exactly what to do now. Asked her straight up if there was any chance of us dating at all, and she told me no, that she's wanting a permanent relationship with Will. I feel misled and abandoned and so fucking lost right now.

 

Really sorry to hear this. I've seen that it's been a really drawn out and stressful thing for you, especially since it's something and someone you really care about. But, and this may sound callous, just keep in mind that I can only go off my own experiences - if I were you I would feel really pissed off, used, and mishandled. You've been her rock and go to for emotional help, and she gave you hope of a relationship when you were physically together, then she dropped you. It is completely unfair to you, not to mention dehumanizing. Doubtful that she did this on purpose or with some kind of spite in mind, but doesn't change that it was her behavior and it had a profound effect on you. I've been through the same pattern of being kept around until I'm not useful, and it made me decide that anyone who would do that to me is under no circumstances worth it. Do you really want to be with someone who pulls you close and then tosses you away? Love by itself is not enough, man. You need support too.

 

I am pissed, somewhat at her but mostly at myself. I knew full well that this could be the way things end, maybe not in this dramatic of a fashion but regardless I knew and the fucking odds are that this was how it was going to be, yet I still continued anyways. I'm pissed at her because I gave her so many opportunities to fucking explain herself, to give me any sort of clue of how she really felt about me and where I stood in regards to her and got nothing until I was up there with her, she strung me along by not fucking saying anything. She was literally the last person I expected to mislead me, I was upfront and honest with her about my feelings and my intentions from the very start and I expected the same from her and took her silence as everything being okay, but obviously that's not the case and I should've done more to actually make sure I knew how things actually were before I got too deep. I just, she fucking knew how I felt about her and let me fall for her, that's what I'm pissed off about the most, she fucking knew and still let it happen. Regardless of what her intentions were or how she saw things playing out, she knew I was crazy about her and let me cross that line without being prepared for that.

But I can't bail on her completely. Just like I've been her rock, she's been mine. This really fucking sucks but it's ultimately a very small part of our friendship, and it's going to take a while to get over it because man did she fucking burn me good, but there's no way she isn't going to be a part of my life.

 

@Blinding I'm so sorry things didn't work out the way you hoped. *cuddle*
If you ever need to talk, feel free to Skype me.