He took her back. What in the fuck. Don't get me wrong, as her friend it's great that he did, she's definitely worth the second chance especially based on her guilt-ridden reaction to finally being honest about what she did, but as someone who wants her so badly, so much more then I've wanted anything else, I just feel lost about what to do now. I have no doubt that their relationship isn't going to work out just because of distance alone, and the fact that she's already struggling super hard to scrape things together to go over and see him, but I don't think I can just grit my teeth and wait until that sinks in for her. And I feel sorry for her, because their relationship started with him projecting his trust issues onto her, completely unwarranted but in turn justified by her actions, and it's just going to go right back to that because whatever trust was there is now completely gone. And then if she does go over and gets to meet him for the first time ever, regardless of if they end up being compatible in person or not at the end of the day she's still going to come back here, and that's either going to eat away at her because he's everything she hoped for or she's going to be asking herself why she didn't just let go when she had the opportunity to.
I don't fucking know what to do with myself. I told her I was going to disappear for a bit, not because of any this (straight up lie, I know,) but because I've been struggling since being back down here (which makes my reasoning a half-truth,) and I need some time to myself to get my head back on straight. Maybe I'll figure it out during this but I just, I feel fucking lost and dumbfounded and stupid.
Edit: Nevermind, I know exactly what to do now. Asked her straight up if there was any chance of us dating at all, and she told me no, that she's wanting a permanent relationship with Will. I feel misled and abandoned and so fucking lost right now.
Last edited: Oct 15, 2014