The "Bad Mood" Thread

My favourite part is when you take a picture and you think it looks good and then you look at the picture and it's mirrored and suddenly your face is a disaster not fit for public viewing. We all have sides and angles that we like most and all it takes is reversing them to make us hate what we see. Always keep in mind that it's a psychological thing. The other person isn't going to see it that way. Also just flip the image back and you should be fine

 

*Hugs* thank you for the kind words Kyvinaria.

 

Well it was bound to happen sooner or later, but I can finally add myself to the list of people misunderstood/shunned because of their sexual orientation. It was made even worse because the person doing it claimed to be "open minded and tolerant of other people" and they had all but agreed to take me under their wing and mentor me in numerous aspects of the BDSM lifestyle. My first reaction was that of confusion, then laughter since being pansexual basically means that there's no pressure on the other party to "tolerate" anything. Male, female, trans, agender, potato, whatever. If you're down to get down then I'm down.

I think what burns me most is that instead of starting a dialogue with me about her thoughts and concerns, she took to a local forum to air them. And while she didn't name me specifically, some of the things said in reply were quite hurtful.

All this is coming at a very bad time as I had just decided to try and get back out into the community after basically being told to leave several years ago and now I get burned all over again. Maybe I should just stay in my room and never leave again. At least then I won't have to endure the pain of being kicked to the curb again.

 

Preach girl!

 

Why is it UK customs are such dicks!? I had a parcel shipped to me in less than 2 days from Japan and customs is still holding it saying they are waiting for clearance. I have bloody presents in there. It doesn't take you 10 sodding days to decide whether to charge me or not. If there's a charge bloody tell me already and don't fucking send it via mail cause that will take till after Christmas. Money grabbing bastard country.

 

I remember when Soundgarden released their live album and I was super hyped to get it… Canadian customs decided to hold it for 9 WEEKS! yup, thats a whole two months they held it! and it was a vinyl record, and nothing else! They didn't even end up charging duty!

 

Two weeks that's ridiculous. Well I went in town yesterday and brought replacement presents. Never going in town when it's the holiday rush again. All my sanctuaries of quiet were super noisy and full of people. Did not enjoy it one bit.

 

I think my friends IRL don't like me anymore but idk. We haven't talked in a long time...and they don't invite me anywhere or say they're busy, then go out and smoke weed and drink together without me. Idk about sunday fundays anymore. I believe they have them but no longer invite me which is okay...kinda...idk they are growing even more distant and it hurts a lot because im so freaking depressed i've been crying the past week non stop. there was another death in my family and none of them cared except one of them...i miss my best friend so much and i feel like a fucking moron for saying no to seeing the hobbit (i saw it the day before she went with my dad and didn't want to spend another $13 and be there till almost 3 am..can you blame me?) because now i think she avoids me entirely. one day she said she was busy with her family and turns out she was with my friends getting high at her house.

*sigh, falls over and curls up*

i like being alone but not this kind of being alone....

EDIT:

also forgot that when i do say anything, everyone is very short with me. one of my friends even said to me 'seems like everyone is rubbing you the wrong way now' and i broke down crying...i've been so emotional recently it fucking hurts that no one irl even gives a shit

 

@PrincessGustopher But do you really want to hang around with people that smoke and drink till God knows what time? Is that your view on fun? Sounds to me that they are turning into the selfish wannabe bad asses that society hates. Do you really want to be one of them? I had the same situation a few years back. Heck I was lonely for sure but at the end of it all I turned out to be the better person. I have a job not laiden with kids I dont know who the fuck the father is and not in jail. That's how all my supposed friends ended up.
You wanna know why they ditched me in the first place because I wouldn't fuck someone 15 years my senior and smoke weed and I was only 16 at the time.
So yeah be the better person in all of this and try even though it's hard make some new friends and get checked out via the docs for antidepressants if you are already on them he or she will prescribe you stronger ones.

 

2 minutes with my family equals 10.000 days of grieving and just plain anger.
+Are you gonna go out tonight?
-No.
+Why?
-'cause I have no one to go with.
+Why don't you get yourself a girlfriend?
OF COURSE FUCKING YES! I'll go out rape a random girl and say "Hey, I wanted her to be my girlfriend. But she didn't collaborate at all".
I keep forgeting that having a penis grants you the magical power of having a girlfriend every day of the year or something.
Merry Christmas, Indeed.

 

^ Same. *sigh*

 

@SnowLycan - I don't mind the drinking because I drink myself but the weed irritates me. Mostly because they hot box in their cars and my two friends always have weed on them (which scares me because im highly allergic to it too).

Right after writing that post my best friend busted through my door and ended up crying. She felt awful about everything and we had a giant talk about it. Seriously it seems like when I openly complain now the gods end up hearing it and fix it x__x.

I can't go on antidepressants with the current medication I'm on right now (which is a dangerous medication as it is, google Lamictal or Lamatrogine). We tried adding a side medication a few months back but I can't be on any other class of medication as long as I take the Lamictal because it does work, but if anything else is thrown in it can compromise the medication to not work at it's fullest. I also get the WORST symptoms possible when it comes to the other meds being tossed in.

I took Abilify for the month trial and ended up with extreme paranoia (granted im paranoid enough as it is naturally but it was 10x worse), incontenence, worse mood swings, headaches, and blurred vision. 250 mg works for me for the most part and that's the 3rd highest dose and it's a three ring circus to get to 300 mg but I'll have to talk to my doctor about it after this bout of depression. It should be noted that I do suffer from Bipolar Disorder so...if that explains why my moods are all over the place and why I went through this terrible bout that's why =X. Yes the medication I'm on helps but a lot of it is the psychological aspect where I need therapy (but can't get cause insurance companies suck major horse cock and not the good kind).

Also the only other alternative to medication for me is Lithium and im terrified of being switched over to it. It's like my very last resort if the Lamictal begins to not be enough. It's even more dangerous than Lamictal since it can possibly do horrific damage to the kidneys.

Blaaahhhh sorry for the long post X___X. When it comes down to medication I try to explain the snafu im in with it because I love the stuff they have me on, it's the first crap that's really worked in 7 years, but it doesn't do an amazing 100% job which is expected and having as severe of bipolar as i do it makes it super duper hard x__x

 

Well I have that joyous event to deal with also especially when the rest of my relatives come down to visit for Christmas. Still no boyfriend? Are you gay? Is there something wrong with you? etc etc.
Don't even get me started about new years.

 

My parents and family used to bother me about not having a girlfriend (they don't know I'm gay) but the past couple of years they've sorta calmed down about it... Perhaps they just figure that love ain't the coal that makes my train roll... I do get a little frustrated when people in general ask me if I have a girlfriend, but hey, it's understandable.

 

Post service made my Secret Santa pay for his present. Hooray, best christmas ever.

 

Just had an whole evening of being center of attention about how I should lose weight. Then I get back home and find I've broken a chip of a tooth. Fan - fucking - tastic!
Plus I have no idea when the dentists are next open.
*goes to hide in a ball of misery*

 

its alright! one time i went to school after a dentist appointment. only to chip a tooth on a lunch table.

 

Ouch! Well it says that they should be open on Monday and Tuesday but if my dentist is in I do not know. Also how much it will cost me is another issue.

 

lets hope its not much

 

Yeah I am really hoping not that much. But I always get super paranoid when something happens to my teeth.
As well as worrying about this whole losing weight thing they were showing me just seems like torture.
I can't eat most of the food it was suggesting. Now I know I can be fussy but most of the stuff would make me ill if I ate it.