The "Bad Mood" Thread

I don't know why I get this way. I've been working at this place since september last year and it's definitely not a bad place to work at. It's rarely stressful, the colleagues are all kind and helpful if there is a question I have. Yet at times like this when I haven't been there for a while (12 days this time) I get really nervous and worried about going in there. I managed to work my stomach into a knot even though I'm more than certain it will disappear once I start working. It's almost as if I dread going to work even though I can't find a reason why I should. I can sometimes manage to push the thoughts away but I'd rather not feel this way every time. Blegh.

 

You should play mind games with yourself.
Bring something with you that you like/enjoy to work (a snack or small convenient item of some kind), then leave it there.
The next time you get ready to go to work, there will be something there that you look forward to, eventually this will create direct positive association and may help your anxiety disappear

 

That's actually a good idea. I've heard about this whole positive/negative association thing and how your subconsious eventually start telling you things. There's almost always cookies or sweets of some kind in the lunch room and I mean that's nice.

 

According to my friend I am apparently 'dissatisfied with my sex life because i have several different toys'. Apparently saying that I like to use different models at different times is not a good enough answer/not logical. Apparently I should not want to get different models because 'one should get the job done if they all go towards the same goal why get more than one?'. Apparently wanting to try different models isn't a good enough answer. Apparently the fact they are different shapes, sizes, firmness, texture, have different add ons, ect. isn't an answer either. Apparently I am 'rude rude rude r-u-d-e rude rude and judgmental' because i said 'i don't understand why people don't research things before they buy them' because 'not everyone has access to the internet/too shy/don't know/too young, ect.' (yea i fucking understand that it's hard in certain countries/areas and what not but jesus christ).

Needless to say our phone call ended on somewhat of a sour note but she's about as stubborn as I am. Plus with my issue and talking it made it hard to debate over the phone.

I'm fucking hurt over the sex life comment she made. Like really fucking hurt and I know we'll end up continuing the subject in the morning (knowing us) and i'm going to bring it up that it hurt. Cause it did. I went silent for a good couple minutes because of it. Same with the jerk comment. I explained to her sometimes I blurt things out without thinking shit through and when i talk it makes it 20x harder. If she would have said something like 'I'm sorry but I don't agree with you' or something like that i would have said sorry but she went off on me...I get she's a very very veeerrryyy blunt person but sometimes the bluntness isn't needed because i take it the wrong way with how my brain is hard wired.

There's other stuff that has been bugging me but it's mostly because she's never been exposed to the things I have. Also she still does not understand my sense of humor.

I'm gonna go curl up now.

 

Got a text from my boyfriend (who had said he was visiting a "friend" in Alabama) earlier saying he's spending time with his fiance. I thought maybe it was a typo and asked him, but no. He confirmed that he's got a fiance. WELL THAT'S FUCKIN' NEWS TO ME. Fucking jackass. I bet the fiance is a 16-year-old girl and he's going to cheat on her too.
I told him to call me so I can confirm that it's not someone playing a joke, and he demanded that I delete his number.

I guess I'm single again.

Motherfucker.


I wish I could say this was a shock to me at all. It was not. And those of you who told me this guy was no good may now impart your "I told you so"s.

 

I just... I can't believe I'm reading this

What a reproachable asshole....

 

Ikr? Good riddance though. >_>

 

shit on his doorstep

 

He lives in a shelter, so doing anything like that would make more than just him miserable. Same reason I can't mail him a glitter bomb...

 

shit in his shoes

 

If I was the vengeful type...

 

I'll shit in his shoes

 

See, this is what friends are for.

 

Yes, shitting in places you're not willing to!

 

A true friend will shit in your exs shoes...

 

aw'hell'nah
friends wouldn't kick you while you're down

 

Gawh, thanks.

 

I like the way you think.

 

So I'm pissed off and worried now, at the same time.
Let's start at the beginning. My grandma's after a stroke, and was transferred from our (I'll refer to my home as "our" because I'm still living with my parents, so I think you'll understand) home to some sort of "care and treatment" house for the winter - we thought she was better there. You know, constant care, warmth (which she lacked in my home, it's cold af in winter) etc. In general, it only worsened her state - throughout winter she was 3 times in a hospital... Now, the last time was for something with bile tract. She had surgery, but she won't eat at all now, and she is very weakened.

Now to the point - out of sudden, I was in the middle of CSGO match - there's a doorbell, mum goes to check - it's the medical transport, with grandma inside. The fucktards from the hospital won't care about the fact that we simply CAN'T provide proper care for my grandma, they just literally threw her off there. No warning, anything. Now she needs proper care - medication, feeding (she was fed by a syringe in the hospital, we got not a single clue how we're supposed to feed her in home) and such. The anger is even stronger, because my mum informed literally EVERYONE in the hospital that we can't take my grandma home because of cold, high humidity, everything. Guess what, they don't care. Now me and mum are stuck with a person that we don't know how to take care of, what drugs to give or not, how to feed her...
The situation is even worse, because before giving my grandma to that care and treatment home she was at least a bit self-sufficient, she could make herself a tea, hop from bed to wheelchair and the other way, make herself food to a limited degree. Now she's just basically lying and staring in the air, that's all.

I suppose that's just how medical system in Poland works - if you're old, they just don't give a shit about you and your family. (On multiple visits it was obvious that they're taking care of grandma only because we sniff too much around lol) It's just sad.

 

Thats awful. Its something that happens here too, though not quite as severe.