The first day of school was this monday and holy crap did I feel nervous about it. Sunday night I was so nervous I had almost no appetite which was unusual because I had not eaten in a while. My stomach twisted and turned and my entire self felt almost a sense of dread. The ride to school next day was no better. During the train ride I was actually shaking for a while. I calmed down once I reached the classroom but I realized that several people from my class takes the same train home as I do. That made me worried again and my stomach started to act up. Today was no different.
Whenever I am meeting new people I don't have this problem as long as I am being introduced by someone. But when it is just me and 25ish other people there I get scared as hell. The thought that I have to sit and get to know a person on a train with other people around is terrifying. I don't want to say that I have social anxiety because that feels like too strong a word. But there is at least something there that really shouldn't be. I worry a ton about what other people will think of me if I just sort of sneak off and get myself to the train with the intention of avoiding walking beside someone. But I am more worried about actually walking to the train with someone. My heart is beating faster than normal while I am writing this and my stomach doesn't feel like it usually do.
I hate this. I just felt like writing it out.
Last edited by a moderator: Aug 19, 2015