What Is On Your Mind?

Fun stuff. Went to refill my birth control pills the other day and they told me I have to go in for my first pap...

I'm kinda... Scared??? I have HUGE issues with allowing somewhere near my downstairs (except for Morten). Like.. The thought of someone even looking down there makes me want to throw up. I'm afraid they'll think there's something wrong with me. <_> I hate having a vagina. It fucking sucks.

Not only that, but since I got back from Europe I have been spotting. It's been a little more than 4 weeks now... and I don't know what to do. Every time I try to look up online what might be going on I end up on pregnancy forums??? There is virtually no way I could be pregnant. I have been too afraid to ever let my mate finish his business inside or anywhere near my lady bits. Even then, we hardly have sex. I guess it's good I am getting my pap done finally though..? But at the same time now I keep worrying about the possibility of having cancer or cysts or something... Which would explain why I sometimes get over excruciating pains near where my ovaries would be to the point where I have to lay flat on my stomach. I just... I don't know. <_> Kill me.

 

doctors see a lot of stuff so it's almost all normal to them. if you are concerned about cysts or cancer it would probably be best to get checked so if they are present you can start treating them before they get worse, if you even have either.

 

Idunno why but I am such a huge wuss when it comes to my sexuality or lady bits LOL
My mom kinda chuckles when I tell her I have to go in, and my partner has been teasing me because I am so afraid.
I imagine, to other people, I look like a cat being held over a bathtub about this. It sucks.

I just.. Man I don't even know. Most of my life growing up I have had these weird ass pains in my veeeery lower abdomen just out of the blue (or if I twisted in bed wrong/when I'm sitting) that is so painful I would rate it at 7-8/10. I usually have to lay down when it happens and it will eventually go away after two minutes.

I just mostly hate going to doctors too because it seems like every time I try to talk to them about my concerns they brush them off as "you're too young to worry about that" or "you don't seem like someone who would have that". Talked to my doctor a few months back about worries of thyroid problems, if not that then depression, and the doctor basically laughed at me. She told me I was "too young" to worry about thyroid problems, and even then they are unlikely. Then when I brought up depression she said I shouldn't even be worrying about that because I don't seem like I have any of the symptoms (but she didn't even read the sheet I filled out based on how I feel). I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO ANYMORE. Can I buy a nice rock and live under it? ヘ（。□°）ヘ

 

I'm sure if you pushed the issue you can get your GP to test your thyroid levels if it really concerns you, just make sure to ask what your level is compared to the average variance. my mom had her thyroid levels tested and the doctor she was seeing said her levels were low and wanted to put her on thyroid medication (which once you go on it, you can't stop taking it) but my mom asked and she was within the average variance for it. my advice for anyone is take charge of your own health, if you're worried about something go to the doctor because even if you get weird looks it's better than letting something potentially get worse, and if the doctor proposes something you don't feel comfortable with get a second or third opinion.

just going off symptoms and no tests is making an educated guess, and everyone is going to have a slightly different answer. I had some kind of fungal thing on the inside of my elbows and a few other places a couple years back (thanks a lot gym class, people need to learn to clean their equipment after sweating all over it and take a shower regularly) and the dermatologist immediately labeled it as "atopic dermatitis" since it was in my records from when I was a baby. atopic dermatitis is as generic of an umbrella term as you can get and the cortico steroids he prescribed made it worse so I started using an anti-fungal cream even when he said "I don't think that will work" and it cleared up in less than a week

 

Yeah. A few months ago I had my TSH (I think that's what it's called???) levels checked via blood testing aaaand my levels came back "normal". Well, I guess the normal range is anywhere from 1.5-5. My doctor almost forgot to check my TSH when I went to leave the clinic though. I had to remind her to even do my blood work. It was kind of annoying...

Though I specifically told her that for the last 2-3 years I have been feeling nothing but tired and drained. Physically and mentally exhausted and cold. Everything just feels like shit. My skin itches like a dirty bastard and I have zip for sex drive when I know back in the day when I was a bit younger I had quite the sex drive. <_> (I never explained that last bit though because shy lil' 'ol me ya'know). BUT YEAH. I wonder if my GP would think it's weird if I told her about my feels/body stuff though... I've never been to a GP. Always been to a'scared.

 

just remember doctors have a lot of patients so they see a ton of stuff. just talk to them and explain the whole situation, they can't help effectively if they don't know entirely what they're dealing with

 

Aaaah thanks Scalie. ; ; You make me feel somewhat better about going. Maybe by the time I go in I'll have enough balls to be able to say something ajdklsdjf

 

I hope for the best for you Grimmy. If you think there might be something wrong though, you should get checked out.

 

So I just asked someone out...
wish me luck?
Wish me luck, I need it. I have a 0% accuracy rating thus far.

 

@Grimmyr : I'm sure its nothing serious Grimm. You'll be alright.

@Wolfcat : Luck has been wished upon you.

Does anyone else feel that they need to spend time apart from the person you have sex with? Like, I don't have any ill feelings to my friend who had sex with me today, but I just feel like we need to spend a day or two apart from each other. Is this weird? Am I an asshat for feeling like this?

 

Sunday is my last real day around here, so my brother took me out on a night downtown. Still drunk. Can't stop hiccuping. Surprised I made it through a shower without killing myself.

 

WHAT???!!!?!?!!

 

It's another Saturday of work...

 

My Saturday is going to be somewhat dull, unless my lovely coworker discovers some free time and we get to spend some time together <3

 

I don't want to go to work today, I just want to go back to sleep...

 

Whelp I've just finished my shift for today and have to say I am pissed at the boss.

 

The semi-local furgroup is doing some sort of big pool party and I'm working...

 

How long is it on for? Could you go after work?

 

"Semi-local" in this case means an hour and a half drive, I don't get off work til 7:30, so no, I can't go after work.

 

Maybe next time. Wonder if you could ask them in advance when the next furmeet will be so you can work your hours around it.