The "Bad Mood" Thread

Fucking brain. I'm in "lonely virgin" mode right now.

 

hahahahahahahahahahaahahahahaha i have no idea how to do this help hahahahahahahahahahaha

 

Whaaaat????

 

My partner got into a fight with the person they've been living with, decided they've taken more than enough abuse, and left. It's been an exciting day... I waited with them for their other partner to come pick them up and take them elsewhere.
So, now they're living with their other partner (and their other partner's husband) in a small town about 3 hours away by car.

We're still in a relationship, but this is going to be rather challenging, especially considering we haven't been together for very long...

Ooh yeah, and it was my birthday too. Haha, oops... I guess it can't really be helped though.

 

Grr...

Had a customer ask me if the package behind the counter was for him. It was, but I told him I needed to see an ID. He got very upset. "I shouldn't need to do this, I've been here two months."

I responded with the truth that "It's just a formality sir."

"Well no, it's not. You're the only person that asks for this."

I waited until he walked way before muttering to myself "Well, now I'm going to do it out of spite." Either way, WE'RE SUPPOSED TO ASK FOR FUCKING ID BEFORE HANDING OVER DELIVERIES. Glad to know everyone else is doing it wrong.



Then had a customer call up asking if anyone had found some papers they lost when we were cleaning their room. I told them "It's not in the lost and found" and they responded with "Well maybe the housekeepers thought they were trash and threw them away." Now, our housekeepers aren't stupid. They'd know better than to just randomly throw away papers, especially if they were literally corporate contracts that the guy lost. Like, that shit is kinda obvious just from looking at it. I told him that much, and he said "Can I talk to a manager or someone who won't take this lightly?"

At that point, I'm super pissed, because this is two people questioning how I do my job. I put on a very unamused voice and told him "I assure you sir, I am not taking this lightly." I think he got it because he started cooperating after that.

 

Forgot to mention that the guy with the package added "You should try being more courteous."

FUCK YOU MAN, DO YOU HAVE A SHINY-ASS CUSTOMER SERVICE MEDAL? NO? WELL NEITHER DO I BUT THAT'S ONLY BECAUSE THEY LOST IT BEFORE THEY COULD GIVE IT TO ME AND I'M STILL MAD ABOUT THAT.

 

I'm worried. The hotel's owner showed up for the third time this month already, and he usually doesn't show his face for months at a time.

 

I was expecting today to be stressful, but it's been worse than I anticipated. I'm actually on the verge of tears. I can put up with the university's incompetence and bullshit, but deep conversations with my mother never go well.

For weeks, I've been planning to see the university's support clinic about transitioning, then the other day my mother told me she didn't want me to go because of the people running the place. Understandable, given what we know about them, but she said she would talk more when she came to visit.

Well today was time for that talk and while we were discussing why she didn't want me going anywhere else but private treatment, she basically said "can you remember anything...happening...in school? You know, that you might have forgotten about?". I was a bit confused until she said "because you never showed any signs of femininity when you were a child", then the penny dropped. I felt so angry and almost started crying right then.

So yeah, in so many words, she basically told me that she thinks that my trans and pansexuality is because "something happened" to me when I was a child. It was the same thing when I came out and thought I was gay, she asked if I was gay because "gay people had been nice to me".

But understanding now that she sees my identity and sexuality as a symptom of some problem to be fixed is really painful. I already have enough ignorant bigots out there who think the same, and now the person I've turned to most in life shows me who she sides with. I'm crying thinking about it over and over again. My father said he would forgo getting work done on their new house in order to pay for my transition, but now knowing that they see it more as some kind of illness to be treated makes me want to turn down any help from them.

I'm so fucking sick of this. I just want to die already.

 

I imagine that's how she was brought up. She was told that people "turn weird" when things "happen" to them. It's unfortunate that's how things were perceived when she was raised. It takes lots of time and effort to unlearn things like that.

 

That's the thing, she wasn't. She didn't even know anything about these things until I started teaching her about them a few years ago. She was fine about it until she got into fucking conspiracy theorist bullshit headed by an extreme nationalist right-winger on the internet. Ever since she started listening to him, our home life has gone to shit. Arguments all the damn time, having to listen to this asshole spout his uneducated garbage every day and her repeat it, etc.

He's a manipulative prick who uses emotional triggers to bend people towards nationalism and bigoted views of minorities. You know, the whole "homosexuals = pedophiles", "immigrants are taking all our jobs", "Britain is becoming un-British", "our top level services and government are Satanists", "the socially progressive are corrupting our children", "Communists and Socialists are rising again and seek to destroy our great nation from the inside" etc. She even thinks now that moving away from gender roles and the acceptance of non-binary and non-straight people are part some big agenda to make people mentally confused and damage the country.

And she trusts this dickbag and what he says over me, because I "haven't researched the same things as him", "he's a retired naval officer, why wouldn't he tell the truth?" and "oh, but there's all these people in the community saying the same thing and they can't all be wrong". I used to think she was smarter than this.

And now to hear her say that she thinks I "want to be a girl" (and have a non-straight sexuality) because I'm mentally damaged was a huge emotional blow to me. I suspect next time we talk will be heated and leave me in tears again.

 

She's obviously misinformed and you shouldn't put any stock in her perspective on things. Parents are often so unable to comprehend the kind self-identification that our generation does that all they can do is try to rationalize it through what makes sense to them. People always assume that something they can't explain is the fault of something obvious. Just like ignorant people actually thought periods were a sign of disease ignorant parents are going to think that identity-seeking is a result of some mental trauma. Don't pay any attention to it. When a modern, well-educated psychologist thinks you've got a problem that's one thing. But your mom isn't an authority to worry about for that.

 

This. Another thing to remember is that a lot of parents get stuck in parent mode when talking to their children. Parent mode is sort of like a psychological trap, in which when a parent is speaking to their child, no matter their age, and a conflict of information comes up, the parent merely assumes their stance is correct because they're the parent, they're supposed to be the ones with all the information and they're supposed to be passing said information to the next generation. Conflicting stances from their children aren't seen as legitimate conflicts in information, it's seen as disobedience or misinformation on your part.

As an example, I had to open several medical dictionaries and diagrams just to convince my mother that the uvula was the dangly thing in the back of your throat, and not a part of the female reproductive system. This is knowledge that I would have easy and immediate access to because I was going to college to work in the medical field, and something that she likely would not be exposed to being a bookkeeper. Despite the very fact that I've had to correct her many times before on issues of anatomy and sickness, she still wouldn't back down until I showed her several sources that were not me telling her what I was telling her. In the end she also gets a little snippy about admitting her fault in the matter. I've had similar issues with other people in positions of technical authority over me, such as my grandparents, and it always plays out the same way.

 

Damn. I can't imagine having someone turn on me like that. :c

 

In a real shit mood this morning........and pretty much fed up with humanity in general.
It's nothing specific, mostly a dozen or more little things, all added up in the last 24 hours.
Highlights include:
Mo lipping off to the staff at the casino we patronize, about some unfair rules. Twice to be exact, so he got kicked out before we could spend our free tickets for a Prime Rib dinner.
Going to work hungry, and finding out we were VERY understaffed in our department. Supposed to have 6-7 people, but only three showed up.
While on break, I caught someone trying to steal my bike, right in front of the store! They did some damage to the high dollar lock I had on it, but were unsuccessful in their attempt.
Being short handed, everything still had to be done, and it seemed I was the only one doing more than my share of the work.
To top it off, both the late night customers and other staff, seemed to go out of their way to make a bigger mess than usual. (I often wonder what their houses are like, based on how they treat the break room and other facilities at the store.
Also, while going about my rounds through the store, I found yet more evidence of theft. Opened packages, abandoned shoes, half eaten food and drinks..........
I don't know........everything is coming to a boil inside me today, I guess.

Oh, also wished I had gotten the day off. Since last night was the Las Vegas Pride Parade, and I really wanted to go.
I hope after a good sleep, I'll have a better outlook for this evening's shift. God I need a drink..............

 

Seriously?

Fuck you BD. Just...fuck you.

As pretty much most of you guys know...I've been dying to get my hands on a Luka ever since his release, but that was when I was in the process of buying a house, so I was seriously strapped for cash.
Not too long after, they discontinued him.

I have stalked user sales posts to try and find a good medium/medium one with colors I could tolerate (I;m really picky, and visuals are important to me, don't judge me ;; ) but about like 9 months ago, I get fed up with waiting, and sent in a ticket asking if I could order one, and that I'd even pay extra for this...

They told me no.

Low and behold, someone on the OG forums just fucking told me that there's an OFFICIAL PAGE saying that you could still ticket to order these toys if you pay extra. WTH WHY DID I GET DENIED THEN BD?

I even asked them if they ever planned to have a sale or something where they WOULD use the molds again, so I could be sure to put some money away for it, but they refused to disclose that information to me as well.

Low and behold, their current sale NOW, RIGHT after I buy a $90 toy and can't afford to buy another $110 one.
I get paid on Thursday, but guess what? Luka has been cleaned out of adoptions already.

I'm so done with that fucking company and their bullshit.

 

Sorry Luka has been so elusive from you.

Note to self: If starting dildo company take speciality orders for discontinued models.

 

Them telling me no, would have been fine...if they didn't allow OTHER people also. Consistancy BD. You should really fucking try it sometime.

 

Well my mother phoned last night and we had another talk. JFC, the backpeddling is real. She doesn't even know how offensive she's being when she talks. She doesn't even care to learn how to say "LGBT" properly, it's always "GB...T...whatever". Oh, and you have to love the "I have no problem with homosexuals, there's even some that agree with me. Although lesbians make me uncomfortable and schools, society and chemicals are turning people homosexual" "Uh, that's kind of insulting..." "What part of that was insulting?! It wasn't insulting, you get offended at everything that mentions you people! How do you expect to live as a [trans]girl if you get upset over such small things?!" *angry lecture continues* "But I love you and want to you be happy, I just worry about you is all."

I am just absolutely lost at this point. If she were anyone else, I would've broken contact with her by now. Every conversation with her leaves me distressed, tired and upset. Yet she doesn't understand why from her perspective and gets offended and angry when I point out that I think she's wrong and what she's saying hurts me. Then she pulls out some half-arsed """"support"""" and expects me to be grateful. Like when she told me that my father wanted to pay for my transition instead of spending it on the house, and now she holds that over me even though I haven't even said I'd accept it. "We could've used that money to make the house better and more valuable, but we're spending it on you instead and you don't even know if it'll make you happy. You should consider yourself lucky!" But I can't stand up to her because she threatens to cut me out of her and my father's life instantly if I don't ""respect"" her, and the thought of that hurts too.

 

Any chance you could go to her and say "Listen, I know when we talk about this together, we both get uncomfortable, so let's agree not to discuss this with each other, because it's pretty obvious we don't plan on seeing eye-to-eye on this."

 

Not at all. I already know what her reaction would be, and it's basically "I'm telling you because I love you and I have every right to voice my opinion".

I told her last night that I didn't want to talk about it any more though. She basically told me that I either do it her way and with support, or my way but on my own and not to come crying to her when it goes to shit. It's obvious she has no clue what it's like for me, nor any interest in finding out. I don't really have anyone else to support me though, so I don't even want to bother trying any more tbh. Now I'm back to where I don't even want to talk about it at all, let alone even consider trying to accomplish anything. So, pretty much where I was at 18. Well done mother, you've put me right back to square 1 again.