What Is On Your Mind?

I raise you full-nude gaming, depending on the time of year.

Just got a call from an area code in Ohio... no response when I picked up. Odd.

2nd degree burns?! You alright?

 

I love being the bad guy after offering advice and telling people where to go for when they need help.

 

Too distracting.

 

meh, some asshole was screwing around and heated up part of my sculpture with an acetylene torch when I was away for like 2 minutes, I came back, expecting it to still be cold, grabbed it, and got burnt. asshole then tries to shift blame with "oh, but I didn't know you were going to touch it!" motherfucker please, you saw me working on it, it's safe to assume I'm gonna touch it again! either way from now on they're going to stay away from my shit and I'm going to check first if someone has been fucking heating my shit up to about 600*F

 

Today was a day of relatively nothing.
Got my video card and OS in the mail, my audio PC is nearing completion.
Just need the RAM, case, SSD, processor, and audio card.

 

Yesterday I won my friends (they are a couple, and make music together) video contest. I never win anything. They are going to be sending me prizes in the mail and I get early access (download) to their next video.

 

I probably owe the world a formal apology for being such a monumental piece of shit

 

I'm tired of being -THAT- friend who goes out of there way to be the one to always check in on my friends. Or initiate conversation. Or do anything, really. It's really starting to piss me off and drain me because it honestly makes me feel like humans are all really terrible when the people I thought I could consider my best friend(s) just up and drop me without any explanation.

I was pretty good friends with an artist for a long time. She even lived in my general area so going and visiting them every so often wasn't an impossibility. I miss going and seeing them and everyone down there. We hadn't talked in around a year and for some reason I'm just absolutely off and gone from their friends list. I've tried multiple times to message them on Skype but to no avail. I went to see if we were still mutuals on Facebook to maybe send a message and low and behold I was removed. Checked out recent statuses to read: "Had to unfriend several people for being generally poopy *thumbs up*" Uh.. As far as I can tell I've done nothing poopy.

As far as I'm concerned I was very generous to them (as in buying groceries, commissions when I shouldn't have but wanted to help in any way I could, offered plenty of advice and even drove down to see them when they were down). I mean I was even this generous to an artist who was generally being a "poopy" person by taking money from people with commissions and never finishing them (mind you her backlog was for more than a year overdue). :I


WHAT'S UP WITH YOU THOUGH REPTILE? Don't apologize for what you aren't. :< You ain't a piece of shit at all.

 

lol, nah, im a pretty bad guy

 

I'm pretty sure we all have skeletons in the closet. :0
As long as you apologize for it I'm sure things will be alright.

 

i aint sure its so simple, but i apreciate the sentiment

 

NO REGRETS!

 

Halfway is for quitters

 

The artist who originally drew Exeter and then quit FA because he's a gigantic drama queen with intense emotional problems and a massive inferiority complex and a glass sense of pride recently started a new account, uploaded a few things, made some art for new people, got a lot of attention for being goddamned amazing, and then promptly deleted his account again.

Some people are just not capable of interacting with other human beings.

 

and then you realize the kinect camera is on...

 

I know the type, had a sort of friend who did great work, then she dropped off the face of the earth for a while, then started to do art again on her tumblr, and then her blog turned into a bottomless pit of posts about how shitty her life is and how much she wanted to just kill herself and all the attention she got from fans of her art just fed into it. she posts a drawing occasionally but by far 99.999% of the time it's just drama overload

 

Honey I have a whole tumblr for nudies with 900 horny followers messaging me all day.




the camera is ALWAYS on.

I dunno what it is with arists. Sometimes I wonder if it's that the act of creating requires so much self-criticism and checking for quality that it just sends people tumbling into a cycle of self-deprecation. Or if artists are so hyper-sensitive to the opinions of others that they start to mistrust the sincerity of everyone and eventually erode their own confidence and end up completely unable to appreciate the quality of their own work. I watched a great TED talk from a Korean Violinist, Hi Jae Park, who suffered from depression while pushing herself to be better and finally conceding she'd never reach her goals. She said that Chopin's Nocturne in C Sharpe Minor arranged for violin moved her so much that it healed her and gave her the power to move and heal other people. Maybe artists need to be broken first, and realize the power of their own talents and passions, to go from that negative cycle, into a positive one.

 

I used to be pretty depressed, lots of cutting, only got over the cutting after my brother found out and slapped the shit out of me, I was active on tumblr back then and looking back on it a lot of the 'support' I was getting from people was just enabling me, the "if you get over your problems people won't care anymore". as for the depression, I still get depressed occasionally but I've also come to a point where I know shit's just gonna blow over eventually and it's not worth messing with, which kind of sucks though because it can be a long week or two just being bored and apathetic about everything you usually like

as for artists, it seems certain mental health issues tend to be more common in people with creative minds, though the increased anxiety issues seem to be more of a contemporary occurrence

 

It's very strange despite suffering from depression and taking meds to control it, even at my worst stage with full mental breakdown I never did cut myself.

Though my skin is covered in scarring from body reactions to stress.

 

okay, finally finished helping my friend on his essay, he wrote the paper but he needed me to find appropriate images and insert them in the right spots since he's very very squeamish. knowing his paper is on the effects of the drug krokodil (street form of Desomorphine) and if you know what that does to people, you probably understand why he didn't want to do that part (don't google it if you don't know, trust me)

looking back on it it was really stupid to do and didn't accomplish anything, I'd slap the shit out of my 15 year old self if I had the opportunity, good thing my brother did. my aunt has been on antidepressants for easily 35 years and it's weird being around her because her mood is so... monotone? she doesn't get angry or sad or anything, it's practically like she's a robot made of meat most of the time