The "Bad Mood" Thread

It's difficult though when I don't have anything that I even like about myself. I seem to be a bit shallow, something else that isn't really a good trait.

 

I think you missed the "unconditionally" part of Misskin's post.

Here's something you can look positively at though. You're not a serial killer, and even if you are, you're not in jail, so you're doing better than a lot of people.

 

I didn't, I was just trying to point out that I don't have anything that I love. I have reasons to dislike everything about myself that I can't overlook through any kind of self positivity.

 

What you can't overlook, simply ignore.

 

People are pure evil beings. Save for a selected group. I had an absolute shitfest day in work; thankfully chocolate chip cookies and fresh orange juice make for a good mood improver combo.

 

I can't. It's like every time I have any social interaction, I can't help but think back on how stupid/awkward I must have seemed. Or how every time I see my reflection or look down at my body, I get upset, frustrated and angry. I think this Tumblr post sums up my perception pretty well, although it's something difficult to convey.

 

That happens to everyone. All the time. So much, in fact, that nobody will notice if you actually WERE stupid or awkward, which you probably weren't.

 

@AkaiKitsune
I think what Akai is trying to say is that they can't automatically change the way they feel about themselves even though they have every logical reason to. Just like a person with extreme arachnophobes can't just talk themselves out of not being afraid of all the toy spiders placed everywhere for Halloween.

 

Pretty much. Dysphoria is an awful thing to have because it's so awkward to explain to someone who has never experienced it, as with most mental conditions.

It doesn't matter who or how many times people say I look/sound okay, I just don't feel or see it. Mainly, I see a pretty unattractive guy with horrible features who keeps trying to dress/act like a girl (and failing), and that's something I just cannot change. I do try to find reasons to like myself, but just isn't happening. I mean, when I'm feeling really bad like I am now, I can't even distract myself with anything involving attractive females because it just makes me upset that I'll never be anything like them.

When I try and explain any of this to the people who should support and help me, they don't see the issue because they equate it to wanting to look younger or more attractive; just something that everyone wants, which is not the same at all.

Edit: Sorry for whining so much, I don't realise how much I ramble on until after the fact >.<

 

Been fighting depression the past week or so. It's probably a combination of things. I get too emotionally dependent on other people, I've been under stress from school, I haven't been eating great because sometimes I don't have time to eat until like 7pm (no breakfast or lunch), and the seasons are changing. I love Autumn, but it does weird things to me.

Gotta keep reminding myself that I'm a badass who may really like other people but does not need them to function, that this place is pretty cool and that I have plenty of reasons to be happy. And people like me, dammit! XD

 

II have not been feeling anything good for awhile now. I'm not sure if I can love anyone anymore. Living with my parents is going to kill me. I have gained 40 lbs in six months. My stress is through the roof and I am tired of pretending I am the son they want me to be (Hetro-soild, no emotional outbursts, devoted completely to the family)

I need to get back to Louisville it is easier to be my there. Support from Friends and community. Here I feel like I'm in a room full of neanderthals. They refuse to accept facts and move forward with their beliefs. I pity my parents for their level of ignorance.

 

I know that feeling, do you have a time frame for when you can get back? In the meantime, try to focus on little things. It might just mean going for a run every day or starting a creative project you can put a lot of time into, but you need a positive outlet that's good for your health that will have a lasting net positive effect on your mental health. Some people can deal with your situation easily, some people struggle with it, I say do whatever it takes to get some positivity and joy back in your days.

 

Agreeing with Exe. Eventually you will be able to move, but right now you have to deal with a necessary evil. It's good that you have the goal of actively moving out, though. It's something to focus on, hope for, and work towards.

 

Thanks @Exeter and @Wolfcat
right now I am trying to fix my niece's atv. It was given to her by my uncle who had someone else try to fix it but they f'd it worse than it was. Then my dad tries to fix it and he disabled any off switch to the motor you have to pull the battery wire to shut it off. I am forced to buy $150 worth of parts to restore the damn thing to factory

 

Doesn't seem like something you should be forced to pay for >_>. Nice of you to do so, but still.

 

I agree but if I don't it will go to the scrap yard because no one can fix it

 

Too much to do as usual, but now I'm sick. Had a sore throat, now I'm tired from no sleep due to sneezing/drainage and I'm achy all over. Urgh.

 

Saturday started off shitty. Then I went to. A friend's wedding and managed to get a invite to a table top game night. Played "touch of darkness" you and everyone is monster hunting.

Didn't get in till 5am Sunday morning slept till 230pm and my dad ruined the day by telling me all the shit I have to help him with today and the rest of the week because I slept in so late.

My response. I'm sitting in the parking lot at work till 5:30 an might go catch a movie. Cause fuck him and all the shit he needs

 

I'm a disgusting failure at life and I want to die. -.-

 

Call them! They might lend a listening ear?
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