The "Bad Mood" Thread

After coming back from the new year's party it has been only not even a whole day, and I already remember why I hate living in this particular house, and with my parents so much.

Spoiler: Rant ahead

For the house it's usual winter trouble, with -10C average the water froze, and it barely flows in sinks only - meaning no water in toilet and bathroom until temperature rises (which probably won't happen until spring). Warm water is available only using big water boiler - but it drains a lot of energy, takes long to heat up, doesn't keep warm for long if you turn it off, and the one I have is really prone to malfunctions because it's really old. And I can't even heat myself with electric heater because there is a prepaid energy counter, and the amount left as of now is rather tiny. It was so cold today in the morning I actually had trouble feeling my fingertips, they were all numb and stiff. Now it's a little better, I drink a lot of hot tea, but it's a short time solution.

As for living with parents... I only realized on the party I mentioned earlier that they're quite limiting my freedom. 3 days of break showed me that living on your own, doing what you want is way better than staying put, having to basically obey my mum's orders or there's a rant about how lazy I am. Like having to do stuff she could do herself with little to no effort. (Example from today : there was unused power cord in the kitchen, my mum could have put it back where it was but instead came all the way to me, to say that I have to do it. It wasn't even a question like "could you put this back please?" but instead she just ordered "put the power cord back on it's place!".) I could go on and on with that; the worst thing is that on it's own it maybe doesn't seem like much - but accumulated over few years gets really bothering and annoying.

Oh, and there's the money thing, where my parents try to squeeze every bit of money out of me, trying to make me feel pity that there's so much expenses or threaten me that if I don't pay there won't be food/heating/power/whatever (whichis kind of true, sadly... I mean, if I didn't pay, it would be just harder to buy stuff. And my father would have even more financial trouble than he has now, and that would hit me and mum as well... So I have no real choice. But even then, mum doesn't ask if I could pay some, more like she just expects to give her as much as she wants. It's a slight difference, but would you rather pay if somebody asks you "hey, the situation is rough, could you pay some so we can buy more energy/food?" or "okay, pay on!"?)

Maybe it's just me though. But the fact I'm basically stuck in this situation doesn't help. And I really need to find a job that I actually enjoy, because going out from the house you hate, to the job you don't like, only to come back after 8 hours to have rants about how lazy you are ,your mum picking on you for not having any big success in education or not having a girlfriend, sight of your dad junk around the house, all the empty bottles I have found indicating that he might have been drinking... It is really depressing.

 

Buddy every day I think about how much happier you're going to be as soon as you're on your own, about the little apartment you'll have, maybe share with a friend, about the job you're finally excited about, I just keep hoping and waiting and knowing that one day you're going to be so far beyond this and life is going to be so good for you.

 

@vahaala Story of my life buddy and I have 7 years of having to put up with that kind of shit than you have. But hopefully 2016 will bring both something good our way.

 

Thanks. It helps knowing somebody roots for you, even if it's an ocean away.

Hopefully yes. You are actually a few steps in front of me, as you seem to have found a job you like at least, even if it was temporary.

 

Dude I don't have that job anymore, I'm stuck with just the shitty one for now.

 

It's weird. I have this friend whom(am I using that right?) I have a small crush on. She's incredibly kind, beautiful, loves my art and is an overall good person. She has this boyfriend though who I've met twice and he's just as lovely as her. They really fit together. Anyway, even though I have this tiny thing for her I know that if they break up and I would, unlikely as it is, start seeing her more than I do now I don't know if I would want a relationship or even try to pursue something with her. Almost my whole life has been dictated by this popular saying "You only want what you can't have" and I can feel that it would repeat itself this time again. It's annoying sometimes.

 

Just a grammar tip, whom and who can be tricky but I know one useful rule. If you change the sentence, who is the subject, she or her? Your sentence would be:

I have this friend, and I have a small crush on HER,
Or,
I have this friend, and I have a small crush on SHE.

When it's he or she, use who. When it's him or her, use whom.

These new sentences would be:
I have this friend whom I have a crush on,
Or,
The friend who I have a crush on...

 

I've learned this ten times. I need a pneumonic.

 

sigh Been arguing with my mother again. This time because she thinks "tranny" is a completely appropriate term to address trans people. When I confronted her about it, she said that we're over sensitive and mindwashed into being politically correct. I tried to explain why it's bad, cue the usual "but black people call each other the N word all the time, why can't I?"

Honestly, she's getting to that difficult age where she just says what she wants and doesn't give a fuck about offending anyone.

I'm getting so tired of this shit.

 

Maybe an analogy like "Dad calls you sugartits, but it would be totally inappropriate for me to call you that, right?"

 

Getting frustrated because my mom is getting stressed out because of her surgery tomorrow, thus causing me to be anxious for her.

 

Missing S today, got a week and a half left. But not in the "I feel sad and heartsick" way, in the "I'm crabby because you're not readily available and/or doing a ridiculous butt dance in your underwear right now" kind of way. Probably have cabin fever too because of the cold, lol.

 

More arguing with my mother tonight. She's angry at me because she "can't say anything without you getting offended", which is ironically exactly why I sat in silence because I can't tell her she's wrong about anything. Apparently "I don't like how some transgenders still have their male promiscuity and dress like sluts" isn't offensive in the slightest and because I got defensive about it, I'm looking for things to be offended about and trying to censor her.

I'm sick of being stuck here and I can't wait to leave as soon as possible.

 

Posting from work...ISP cut me off, they couldn't wait a few days for the money? Greedy fuckers.

 

Call them! You can probably make a promise to pay! At my company even if you're more than a month overdue you can still get up to 15 days for that promise!

 

@Exeter But no internet is GOOD FOR ME!

I'll give it a go. Been a rough winter for me financially.

 

My boyfriend ended things with me earlier this week...it came completely out of the blue so it really hurt. I'm trying to stay strong and keep telling myself that it's not the end of the world, but my mind keeps going to dark places.

 

That's awful take some time to feel dark, just get out of the bad head space as son as you can. We'll all be here and help in any way we can, we've all been there

 

So sorry to hear that. D:
It's never easy. Do yourself a favor and get some kind of normally forbidden treat or luxury, like expensive ice cream.

P. S. I don't know if it will help, but I have a personal mantra I use sometimes of "don't get sad, get pissed" since I've found anger is energy I can put towards good things

 

Found out yesterday that my grandma was taken off of all meds except for for pain. So it's only a matter of time now. She was probably only holding out to see her family one last time, and now that she has....