Depression and Anxiety Support Thread

Depression. Those who don't have it don't fully understand it. Many of those who have it don't even fully understand it.
So I'm making our safe zone. When you feel tiered and listless, this is where you will find support.
When you feel hopeless and are forcing yourself to get out of bed, this is where you will find encouragement.
When you have doubts about yourself and uncertainty about the future, This is where you will find hope.
When you feel like you're a burden and everyone will be better off without you, this is where we'll hold you while you cry.

This is where we can all help each other work through our problems and moods and gain the hope and strength to go on another day.

"Modern media and stories have made us view problems as a one time things. The hero(you) comes along, a problem arises, the hero figures out how to overcome the problem and happily ever after. the problem is gone, never to return. And that's a load of shit. problems in real life are constant. we battle the same problems on a regular basis. We know how to beat them, we've done it before. but it becomes grinding and soul sapping. We groan when we see the problem again, for though we have done this multiple times before, it still takes all the energy and focus to defeat it. and every time you defeat it, you know it will return again, and it seems futile. But in reality, we only have to live on day at a time. we fight one battle at a time. And it's all the small victories that make us winners. every time we vanquish that problem we are a little stronger and a lot better. The goal is not to defeat the problem once in for all. the goal is to make the problem make down every time it comes around. Life is a journey. The destination the same for all. The longest and fullest of lives belongs to those with the endurance to go on. even if it's one step a day. one foot in front of the other is progress. Even if it's just continuing to breathe. Then breathe. All you have to do is breathe. keep breathing. You are going to be fine. I promise."

 

I feel this is relevant for this thread.

 

A song that helps me when I'm in a valley.

 

To the people I've known who have had it, the first, best, and most important thing for them has always been that they seek help. They all have come through it to a place where they are managing a challenge they face daily, and they all say the same thing: Seek help, and you will be empowered.

A trick I taught somebody close to me that helped them when they were spiralling out of control, was to focus on the minor details of something they enjoy until they regain control. The point isn't to sweep everything under the rug, but to take control of your focus. You can't deal with everything and face every challenge when you're plummeting over a cliff of reason and negative emotions, but you can when you're able to dictate what you deal with. So focus on the carbon scoring on the hull of the Millenium Falcon. Focus on Kate Mulgrew's diction as Captain Janeway. Focus on a sauce you'd like to make. Focus on the etymology of a word you like. Take your focus back, and don't let a disease dictate what's worthy of your attention. Every challenge is so much easier to face when it's not competing for attention with other problems.

This along with a battery of other techniques and methods can empower people to get through their worst moments. There are a variety of therapies and many sources of help and assistance. Professional help is the most important tool at your disposal.

 

This is the best video I've ever found about anxiety, but could serve for depression too

 

I LOVE that video. It's amazing

 

I'm going to quote a friend (a member of a band) here. The catalyst was Robin Williams, but....

"TL; DR Version: Suicide is bad, but so is acting like an asshole when someone is sick.

***

Long Version:

Buddhists really nailed it with the whole "everything and nothing" idea. There are ideas in the world that contradict each other at every point, yet are both still true.

My doctor once asked me to remember this: that suicide doesn't stop the pain. It just spreads it around.
This is truth.

But it is also true that sometimes people get so sick that it's too hard to come back. We don't want that to happen. Nor does it *have* to happen.
We can extend our hands, and stay up all night talking. We can call ambulances and family members. We can take away the pills and razors and stand guard in shifts. We can post hotline numbers, share lists, and make these posts.
And so we should. We should never stop.

But sometimes, it won't be enough. That's another truth.
Because none of these things can "fix" it. Even when it can be fixed (and it *often* can), these aren't the things that will do it. BUT they might be enough to buy a person the extra time they need to start getting fixed. That is the hope.

But if it's not, the last truth I'm going to mention is that words like "selfish" and "coward" need to be stricken from the vocabulary that is used to talk about depression and suicide.

Of course you are angry. Of course you are hurt. And when it happens to someone you love, there is a part of you that will never heal. See truth #1, above. When you are angry and hurt, there needs to be someone to blame. And those are good blaming words.

But when someone is sick, one of the biggest pieces of themselves that they lose is clarity. It's one of the first things the sickness eats. And the shitty thing about it is that once your clarity is gone, you lose the ability to know that you aren't thinking clearly anymore. Taking one's own life *in the circumstances surrounding depression and mental illness* is not a decision that was made by the person you know. It's a decision made by the disease.

When you have clarity, we know that there is help out there and that people love us and will be hurt if we leave, and that we don't have to feel this way forever.

But when the disease takes that away, there's nothing but empty words. You know they're supposed to be true, but your brain is doing everything it can to tell you otherwise. And without treatment, eventually, you'll believe it.

So remember that by throwing those blaming words around, you're not shaming people out of suicide, you're just letting those who may be struggling -who may have thought about taking their own life- know that the horrible things their brains are already telling them might actually be true.

Use the clarity *you* have before you judge and decide you know how it feels to be consumed by a disease you may have never had.

And for those of you that *do* know what it feels like, you have other options, no matter what your brain might be telling you. It's okay that you don't know it right now...but please try to trust the people around you that do. Let someone help you buy some time to figure out a better plan."

 

I personally suffer with depression, anxieties and social interaction issues and I know full hand what depression can do to someone.
I did get to a stage where I just had enough and wanted to die (those words were the hardest thing to say especially to my own mother). The constant crying, not eating and not sleeping eventually wore me down I had no clue what was happening. Why I was so afraid, I was constantly panicked and confused by the simplest things. But there was something deep inside that was to scared to go through with it. The thoughts kept playing in my head of what will happen to my soul. Will I get punished for being weak and taking the easy way out.
Obviously the thought of her baby girl saying she wants to die made my mother sedate me so I could at least sleep and get my head thinking straight. Soon after that a trip to doctors, psychiatrists and a crap ton of high dose of drugs later I am stable. But if I miss a tablet the side effects are immediate.
Anyways what I want to say is yes there are a lot of people that don't understand depression or even class it as a medical illness. Some people even class them selves with depression when they are just having a down day.
But no depression isn't just a down day. It's a complete character change from the person you previously knew. So if you see a friends mood and personality change from their usually norm and last longer than a few days then it might be early signs of depression.
Sorry if I haven't been entirely clear on what I am trying to say. But depression is a little difficult to talk about and believe me you don't want depression. I've had it for 4 or so years now (well officially diagnosed) and I'm still not off the meds.

 

Kranix's best friend got out of the psychiatric ward yesterday. It made me think back to when I was in, 4 years ago, a lot. I ended up pretty depressed last night. It doesn't help that I'm worried about Chris. I think his family doesn't know how to "proof" where he's living. He really insistently wanted to go home instead of staying with Kranix and I last night, and that worried me. I know the feeling of just wanting to go home when you've been forced out of it for a while, and that's where his dog is, but still. I don't know if that's why he wants to be there, or if he just wants to be alone. Which he can't be right now. Kranix feels like he can't help someone who doesn't want to help themselves, but that's exactly what dealing with someone in his position is. So I'm worried, and I care about him.

 

I was looking at the list of all the kinds of depression, and I think some time in my life, I had a bout of catatonic depression. one day I was fine, the next a little more disintrested in things. I would always be excted to get the crickets at the pet store for the anoles I had. and then the one night I was "meeh, ok"(there was also a video rental place next to the pet store) and then I would just lay on the couch and not do anything. not talk, not realy draw, or video games. not really pin pointing what was going on with the feelings. just shock, I would hardly sleep, just off and on at incriments. I think somewhere in the back of my mind there was "if i sleep it will kill me".
I would just gaze out into space and be occupied with videos that it kept me company. It was kind of like sleeping but awake.
but now it is just profound feelings of emptyness, more than meloncolia, and wet wool blanket of bad feelings.

 

So hey all. This is the place for support on hard times. Like, major life events. Nothing like Bad Mood thread; this focuses on only major things that need the support of friends, like depression and worry and such.


I mostly created this thread because places like the "What's on your mind" and similar have posts that get washed away. So this is the place where that shouldn't happen.

In my life currently is a real struggle; my boyfriend is about to leave for 9~ months for deployment overseas for the army. Its going to be hard even though I feel I have the strength to get through it. Its been hard lately because he's getting close to deployment, and I can sense his tension even through text, which is our main source of communication. I'm just hoping to gsrher some friends to help me through this and have school be my distraction. I wish more of my family members could know about the relationship but I'm unsure of how they would feel. I know my step dad is proud of me, though...

Thoughts?

 

Start developing some more hobbies. Anything constructive to take your mind away from the negative is what you want.
Really, 9 months isn't a very long time if its just the two of you.
Ill play old guy, at 19 you are pretty green and relatively new to long term relationships, and I know being together is what you want. BUT, the time away can strengthen a relationship by revitalizing that feeling when you get to spend the day chatting about nonsense.

You'll be alright, be sure to talk to friends often and don't seclude yourself from conversation.

What military service is he in?

 

He's active duty Army. This will be his last tour if he doesn't reenlist. He's thinking about going National Guard reserves so that way he can still make a lot but not have all the stress of full time.

I'm the kind of person that likes long term. So I know I can get though it. He worries about messing it up, and I worry about it too. Because I know I can get clingy and its only because I've had bad expirences in the past. I know me needing reassurance he's going to be there is not the best thing right now due to shit in his life. He doesn't need to stress about work and me at the same time lol....

I just worry about him.

 

Merged similar threads.

 

Wow, depression is just washing over me today like high tide.

 

I know old thread is old, but I feel that someone needs this

 

oh and also

 

I've dealt with pretty bad depression in waves over the years. I almost constantly deal with general, unspecified mild depression. I have horrible self esteem, though it's better now than it's ever been. I have issues with body image, with how I look, with security in myself. I mean, I'm 129 pounds. I feel like I should be happy with my body. Tons of people have told me I'm attractive, I have a good body, etc... and yet, looking in the mirror, my brain just isn't satisfied. I have this NEED to be attractive, to be pretty, to have physical, noticable attractiveness. I guess it's just because I haven't had much in the way of relationships and it's my way of making up for my shyness and the fact that I'm scared guys won't like me. Half of the time, I have trouble having an appetite. Not that I don't eat... just, if there was no one else around to cook, I'd probably only eat once a day, just because I don't have a drive to eat food. The list goes on.

But through it all, I've learned two important things:

You are not your depression, your anxiety, etc. You will have bad days, and you will have good days. But you can't let the bad days define who you are. Because it always gets better.

Secondly, you have to learn to love yourself and stop downing yourself.. It's been a long process for me, and as you can see, I'm not where I want to be. I've still got lots of stuff to deal with and work through, and it might be years from now, when I'm in a committed, loving relationship and living a life on my own, before I'm finally able to be truly happy. But you can't get better, you can't work forward, if you're constantly shoving yourself into the background, back into the shadow, back into the depression and sadness that you were once in. You can't keep throwing yourself into that ocean of chaos, you can't keep drowning yourself in it. Come to shore, get a fire going, and let it warm you up, dry you off, and then look to the horizon, and all the things you can look forward to in life. That's what keeps me from falling down in the now, is looking ahead. Someday, I will be happy. Someday, I will be in a good relationship. Someday, someone will love me. And all I'm doing right now is stepping closer and closer to those goals.

 

I've had an interesting turn in my battle with minor depression.

As soon as I went back on my ADHD meds, it went away completely. I'm not sure why this is, but I suspect that it has to do with my HUGELY increased productivity in life. Things that would take me a month to do before can be done in a few days (namely schoolwork), and I'm motivated to improve my life on my own, without others forcing me to do it.

Among other things that have changed are decreased appetite, and decreased sexual drive.

I've lost a bit of weight due to the decreased appetite (yay!), and now I can actually go a few days without masturbating if I so desire.

Not sure if there's a lesson in this, but I guess I can go with the generic "Don't be afraid to go on medication to help with your problems if you've tried everything else already."