Dating Advice Thread

It depends on if it's hindering your relationship from progressing or not, and how it's affecting you personally. If you've gotten to that point where being unable to meet him is starting to eat away at you a bit (that might be the wrong way to phrase it, hopefully you get what I mean tho,) and it doesn't seem like you'll be able to meet him in a relatively soonish manner to rectify that, then it might be for the best to start looking for something more local, you know?

 

Not seeing him does indeed eat away at me. I feel like it's part of the reason I haven't had as high of a libido lately as I usually do. I've correlated, roughly, the dip in sex drive to the beginning of when I started REALLY wanting to see him. This is also after a previous, in-person relationship with its fair share of cuddly, affectionate stuff. It ended in an sort of untimely manner, though, due to contact between us slowly drying out.

I guess part of what I deem a "need" in a relationship is a feeling of physical intimacy. With this distance, we have a certain sense of intimacy, but it's really not like I could hold him while we fall asleep or anything. Like I said, I've been trying (as in offering to take time of work and pay 100% of the travel expenses, even going to far as to offer him help with getting a passport) for about two years now with no luck. He is trying to look for work, but I feel somewhat like the effort I'm putting in isn't reciprocated.

The problem with going local seems to be lack of other gay guys to date, much less furry gay guys. I know it would probably help to branch out past just what I hold as a sexual interest, but I also have a gnawing fear that what I do in the bedroom wouldn't fly with a lot of people.

 

I would figure out why this is the case before deciding to do anything imo. Might open up another solution.

 

That's a good starting point. He puts in effort looking for a job, but when it comes to doing things like digging through webpages for information about travel or how to get a US passport, it's a little lacking. In his defence, though (on the lack of having a job), he lives in the rust belt area and has been trying to get a job for pretty much the whole time I've known him.

 

Dang! Yeah, though I can happily say that, THANKFULLY, visiting the USA and Canada (if you're from either place) is really easy. I am not exactly sure if Canadians have to do it to visit us, but I know my boyfriend from Denmark has to submit a form for his country and they send him something like a visa. It tells customs how long he can stay for and whatnot without having an actual visa.

If I also remember right, the maximum a person can stay in the USA without a visa is 3 months. So long as he goes to his courthouse and gets a passport and just drives across the boarder (if possible) to see you, the trip will be fine and dandy--super easy too! If he has to fly though, he might have to take some extra steps. Not sure though!

 

Can't find work or passport issues are often an easy excuse to give. A passport is easy to obtain after filling in a few forms and getting a work visa for the US could help him find a job if their is nothing in his home town.
My friend from the UK did it and now she is happily living in Canada as an actual citizen after her work visa expired and she applied for citizenship.
I am thinking maybe time to get a mate closer to home. Unless you are willing to make the effort to go and see him that is?

 

Oh and great news about Blackcat and Misskin. But if neither is fully ready for a relationship don't be pressured on our account. Ok honies.

 

I've looked into work Visas, but Canada it seems like you're shit-outta-luck unless you're a doctor or an astrophysicist. I hate to admit it, but I'm starting to feel like this distance thing just isn't going to work out well for either of us.

 

We will get to know each other first, we're nothing official yet, but it's at least a start. :3

 

Congratulations for being ballzie enough to ask her in the first place though. *snuggles*

 

Danke~ I was actually very nervous, but decided to act for once in my life, and I'm glad it worked out.

 

A very brave move indeed.

 

This is so freaking adorable ^___^ and very recognizable too. The awkwardness, the obliviousness, yup.

 

For some weird reason I feel uneasy at that, for no apparent reason lol. But I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy (lalalala...). I hope it all goes well further for you both

 

hehe thanks for the support guys! I hope it goes well too, Missy is an amazing gal. :3

 

Awww
How sweet! :']

 

Congratulations @Black-Cat and @Misskin
Hope all goes well.

 

Thanks for all your support guys, gosh. x3;

 

Well ain't that sweet