Long Distance Relationships!

Man, it seems like I make a lot of threads... But this one I am feeling very strong about! I am also hoping this one does not die on me haha. This is something I feel very strong about!

I am curious to see how many of you around here are in a long distance relationship? Or perhaps you have been in one in the past? What was it like? Did you like it or did you hate it? How are you feeling today even though your loved one is hundreds if not thousands of miles away from you? Anything for this thread goes, really!

 

I have been in one before....they just don't work out for me :C

I have very bad anxiety about technology, and being wired to the internet 24/7. I had a lot of issues with really feeling close with someone on an intimate level because I am usually so distant from my phone and tech life (I still have a flip phone), that therefore, it means I am distant from them as well.
I also am a person that requires a lot of physical contact in a relationship, long distance just doesn't cut it for me.

Lastly, I don't EVER feel like I really know a person until I meet them in person. To me, it's a bit absurd to truly 'fall in love' with someone you have never met before. (obviously, excluding people who met and started dating at cons, ect.) It's just...so weird and false to me, because people can lie about themselves so easily online, photoshop pictures, and even present themselves differently. Especially that last bit. I cannot TELL you how many times I thought someone online was super chill, and then met them at a con and they were actually super awkward....

 

Man you and me both! Well, aside from the fact that I don't really have a problem with online dating. ; ; It is a lot harder for me to warm up to people in real life. I sometimes feel it is easier for someone to express themselves online than it is in person, and I have found most of my accepting friends online. However; I have also met a fair bit of people in person after meeting them online and they are very cringe-worthy. I have also came across a bunch of total creeps online, too. ; ;

I guess I just feel like I know who is good to talk to and steer clear of? It is true you can't tell at first, but if they start off totally weird it's just generally a good idea to stay away from them. ; v ; You also have to go the extra mile to make sure people are who they say they are. It sucks, but I guess I just find comfort in most of my online friends versus my IRL ones... Mostly because a handful of them judge me on my interests (especially being a furry).

All super good and valid points though! Actually makes me think a bit. :< I wish I was less dependent on technology, because I hate always hearing from people that: "I should get a life and go outside". People don't realize I do go outside and have fun, I just don't like to go to big towns and socialize because people are awkward and make me feel awkward. D:

 

My last relationship was long distance, I brushed on why it crumbled in the Monogamy debate thread, and my experience with that has me conflicted about LDRs in general. I have never connected with a person that deeply emotionally, which is awesome, but at the same time as things progressed it started to hit me harder and harder just how physically lonely I felt, because here was this person that I felt I knew better then myself at times that I had never actually met in person that I constantly wanted to be in my presence, but instead she was thousands of miles away. For people who are dependent on physical intimacy (and I don't mean just sex, I mean like hand holding, and cuddling, and forehead kissing, you know, cutesy romantic gestures that seem small but mean a whole hell of a lot,) like me, that just simply doesn't work.

 

I have been in one and I'm indifferent about them. Ya see, I hastily moved in with someone and circumstance caused me to move out. We kept in contact and I would fly out there to see her every so often (3500 miles and another country). We fought but still maintained a "relationship". But she treated it like she was allowed to see other people, but had a problem with me seeing other people.
We broke up... but I don't think it was the distance that was an issue.
She and started talking albeit very rarely. We're both sexually interested in one another (high conpatablity on that respect), but doubt we'll ever see each other.
So... personally I don't think they work, at least for a lot of people. There are some that can make it work, and more power to them. Would I want one? Probably not... but than again I don't want to live with them either. Separate living spaces.

 

When I was 11/12 I had a boyfriend who lived about 60 miles away from me. We saw each other at school but still, that's pretty astronomical. It was really cute and innocent, just handholding and kisses on the cheek, but pretty damn serious for kids. Lasted a year. Until he got jealous and didn't want me talking to other boys anymore, and I got pissed because I was super loyal (and still am) and didn't like him mistrusting me. So I told him to get the fuck over it or I would break up with him.

I find it really funny in hindsight XD

 

Been in a number of long-distance relationships, and would've probably been better off without them... unless you count gaining the knowledge of avoiding them.

 

I was in a long distance relationship with Kranix. I have no trouble having feelings for someone who isn't in person but I do tend to have stronger feelings for people I interact with in person. Kranix and I were able to visit regularly but it was still really difficult and I'm glad it's over.

 

Good to hear some of the positive stories from them, but kind of unfortunate about the negative ones. :< Kinda bummed! I actually thought a lot more people were in LDRs than there actually are! xD But Ren, your story is amazing haha. God that would've sucked, THANK ODIN YOU WERE A STRONG LADY AND TOLD HIM TO STICK IT. <:

 

I used to be in one, for about 2 or 3 years. Both living about an hour away. (Long distance for 17 y/os with overprotective parents.) Some time before we managed to find a way to meet in person though, we kind of just stopped talking as much. On reflection, I feel that it was more my fault by being so childish about not talking all day every day, as that was something I'd gotten used to. Anyway, after a couple of weeks of not talking, I decided to grow up and start talking to her again, but found that she had removed me from our main method of contact, and I couldn't remember her contact info either. A year and a half later, and I'm finding that I really miss her. I recently managed to find her Steam again, but I can't decide whether or not I should get back in contact. When all is said an done though, the only problem I had with that relationship while it lasted is that we never got the opportunity to meet for so long.

I had another couple of LDRs, but they were international. (UK - US). I can't really say I liked those though. They ended up being rather problematic, and one of them completely fucked up my sleep patterns and caused me so much stress and anxiety due to attention seeking manipulation.

The main one I had was the best one, so I voted that I enjoyed it, but I can't really see myself being in another long distance relationship again.

 

Most of my relationships could be called long distance; usually at least a trainride 1.5 hours between us. Two of my past relationships had a traveltime distance of about 7 hours. Both those relationships lasted three years, and both ended because we stopped (or never started) to make plans together for the future (which could have been moving closer, but also just establishing stuff was good as it was). What was quite important in those relationships was our semi-daily contact over chat-programs and skype (with my ex-girlfriend we had a weekly skype-date on monday), en seeing each-other regularly (between once every 3 weekd to 2 months).

At this moment, my girlfriend lives about 2 hours away. Before I moved (3 months ago) this was just 30 minutes. We're still adjusting, but everything will be fine in the end, I think. We try to see each other every other week or so, for at least one night and a day, and try to skype at least once a week. And there are regular short e-mails and chat messages.

I don't mind LDR's. I think they've thought me from my first relationship on that your own life if important, even if you're in a important relationship with someone. I like my alone time, and so do my partners. Living a bit further apart makes it easier to schedule that.

 

Aah I am glad you posted that last bit, Yog! I enjoy my alone time too, and living apart from my boyfriend is currently a good way for me to have it. I get too anxious when I have someone with me all the time (though I don't mind him as much). ; v ;

 

I'm with you guys there...I usually LOVE my alone time. Seriously, I'm actually guilty about blowing my friends off last minute sometimes because I'm just not capable of dealing with anyone some days, OR I've reached my limit for the day. (working, running errands, ect, ect.)
but I find that being with my boyfriend almost like...doesn't count?
No matter HOW antisocial I am feeling that day, being with him always eases my anxieties. It almost feels like he's just an extension of my regular self. I think that's how I know that I truly love the guy. I've never felt like that with anyone else I've dated.

 

Oh man you and me both. I am so guilty for blowing off friends last minute... > -> Makes me feel like an awful person but sometimes I just get the anxiety of: "Oh no what if I get anxious on my outing and no longer what to be around them? I won't have any fun."

Usually it's the same for me too, though, with my boyfriend. I really enjoy hanging out with him, but even then sometimes I just need some alone time to go and browse the internet or sit outside by myself. I hardly ever get the feeling of: "Oh man shoo go away I need alone time" when I'm with him, but sometimes the urge is still there. ; ; He's seriously the first one though that I can even stand staying at my house. I could hardly survive at sleep overs or having friends stay at my place. Oddly enough, I don't get bothered when he stays here for ~2 months before leaving again.

 

My boyfriend is overseas on his last tour with the army. Unlike other guys, I actually met him in person then started talking to him. Most guys I've met online are more photogenic....so don't always appear as they do in profile pictures. We met on the last day of his 2 week visit home before going back to Washington state.

Right now I don't hear from him often, but I have been able to have decent conversations these last few days which is nice. The stressful thing about it is I really am a more physical affection person, and not being able to communicate on a regular basis is also stressful, but I take it a day at a time. I want to try to talk to him more on future plans; I do know he's thinking about UW-Oshkosh and then transferring to UW Madison in 2 years, which is similar to my goals (I want to transfer to Madison, too). Unless Washington offers him better.....I would hope he'd ask me to move there or accept it if I told him I'm moving there to be with him xD

I'm just slightly (OVERLY) worried once he's out he won't want to be with me....crazy, right? Either way, I want to be the first one to greet him when he comes back to Wisconsin.

 

Only one relationship I've had has been really, truly amazing to me. I was able to see that person whenever I wanted because they lived down the road. It was awesome.

Being an adult now I don't think I would mind a LDR.... However! It would not be dating until I met the person and even then either/both of us would have to move to be together at some point (no more than a year). 3 years ago I liked being alone.... Now I need someone sleeping by me at night. Physical touch is huge for me.

 

i am in one... though weve just a massive monkey wrench thrown at us...

 

Oh nooo. D: What happened, Ice? I hope nothing too terrible.

 

he... wants me to break up. because he is leaving with no communications (letters unknown) for who knows how long. he isnt allowed to tell me what or where or anything. he just leaves tomorrow morning. he is trying to get me to but ive done this so many times before that i just do not want to let go. i gave him my word that i would never leave and when i promise something like that, it i just heartbreaking to have to sever that...

edit: nope, no communication period.

 

oh god that's terrible. D: I am so sorry. ; ; I don't even know what to say... I hope it gets better though. :/ That sounds complicated as heck.