Coping with the hard stuff

Many people here at the forums have their problems and issues in life. And what I noticed is that many people find it really difficult to cope with the hard stuff. And it IS hard. With this thread I hope to give some suggestions and ideas if you don't know how to deal with things (big or small) anymore, or if you deal with them in a way that might harm you (now or in the future).

Remember that all ways of coping are valid and are or were useful. You didn't start drinking/fighting/shutting down/selfharm/etc for nothing: it served or serves a purpose, making it possible for you to go on. But if you feel those ways are not useful anymore, there are other ways of dealing with tha hard stuff.

One of my favourite resources is MoodGym. This is an online Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Program. It helped me lots with seeing how my depression (because I have one, a chronic "light" variety) "worked". It can also help with anxiety related issues, and I think can be useful for everyone.

More resources for online therapy can be found here. I don't know how well done that stuff is, but if you'd like me to check something, just send me a message.

I also found this: http://www.7cupsoftea.com/ It sounds cool. You can talk online to real people, who have had some empathic listening course. I will check this website later and see how it works and if it is useful and such. It might be helpful if you feel you want to talk to someone who will not judge and just listen, and venting on this forum is not enough.

And if you really feel utterly lost: here is a list of suicide hotlines, grouped by country.

This is a start. I might follow up later with more specific coping methods, or other online resources. I'd like it if this became a topic of general mental health help, and not where you post the problems you have. There is the Depression and Anxiety Support thread and the Bad mood thread for that purpose. This is meant as a footnote or addendum for all things posted there ^^

Oh, and on what basis am I telling you all this? I have a BSc in Developmental Psychology, so I had intro courses in many fields of psychology and extra courses on diagnosis and disorders (in children, but we had courses together with the clinical psychology people). I've been through the mental health care system myself, and saw 3 close friends go through it. I have basic knowledge of the therapies available and with my academic background I tend to be able to assess if something is valid and has a sound background. I also have some experience in coaching, and know a lot about time management, productivity and self improvement, which also comes in handy in stuff like this.

 

Cogntive behavioural therapy is the BEST.

 

Those sites look really helpful, thank you!

 

I've been running through some of the cognitive behavioral therapy (on moodgym) and it's helped me identify some issues with my thought process'. There's still a lot to work through. Over the last ~year, I was already becoming more mindful of my thoughts, but this is helping to identify what the true issues are. For instance, my depression symptoms are fairly average, and I don't have an overly negative or unrealistic view of the world, but my anxiety is chronically super high. Being aware of that fact in itself may help.

 

So question: how easy is it for you guys to ask for help?

 

I actually don't really ask for help, I just vent or break down when things get too much. I don't trust professional counselors/psychiatrists/w/e you want to call them and I've heard pretty much everything they have to say before and it doesn't help. Close people I turn to get sick of me "complaining" all the time and don't understand that I can't help how I feel, so they often get angry when I try to get help from them or tell them that their idea of my emotional and mental state is wrong.

I hate even trying to get help from others though, because I feel like I'm dumping problems and responsibilities of my own onto them and I understand that everyone has their own problems, and adding my own to their pile only makes them more negative towards me.

 

Almost never do it. Work is one thing, but otherwise I'm terrible at benefiting myself.

 

Professional help? Never had to, and it can be hard to tell if you need it or not.

Help from friends? When I need it. Most of my depression episodes stem from loneliness, so sometimes all I need is to talk with someone. For those who have been there for me: Thank you.

I have a couple other "issues" that weigh on me, but nothing that requires a therapist.

 

I found an interesting blogpost on coping and mindfulness: http://zenhabits.net/cope/