What Is On Your Mind?

It's alright. Personally I prefer Mary the anthro horse.

 

Alright, thanks for your input

 

I've been thinking of myself and the restrictions I've placed. Mainly with my anger. I have a lot of built up rage and no real outlets.
Growing up I had to keep myself in check cause everyone knew if I cut loose on some asshole. I'd be tried for murder. I truly feel I was made for conflict. Strife would find me no matter what I tried.
This was brought up because I remembered a story about my mom in her youth. She was the older daughter and 3rd of six kids. Her job was to run the house and do any work my grandpa had for her. Which wouldn't have been a problem except he was a masonry worker. She worked construction from 12 to 19.

At 16 she had a problem. Some rich girl aspiring to be a model though I'd be funny to pick on the big titted poor girl (my mom was in DD bras at 14). My mom dealt with this bitch as society tells us to now, she ignored her and her jabs; for 4 months. Now the tipping point was when someone cut nipple holes in her bras during gym.
She told me she never knew if the girl was one that did it or not but the bitch was the first to jab he about it.

Mom warned her, told her, "If you don't stop, you'll never be pretty again." My aunt and few of mom's friends confirm that was the warning. Then fight on. My mom beat her so bad the girl was sent to the hospital. Apparently 7 corrective surgeries later proved my mom correct. They never could restore that girl's face.

She knows my rage, but not the why. Her enemy was a snooty bitch that didn't know she was out classed. My enemy is me. All my failures and disappointments are on me. I'm mad at myself and I'm trying to fix it.

 

So I had my first breakup 6 days ago. It was my first attempt at a serious relationship and what broke it is my boyfriend, who suspected he was Poly for a long time, found out he actually was when he started having feelings for someone else. He thought it would be best if we went our separate ways since he knows the kind of relationship I wanted was a monogamous one. We still want each other in our lives. However, I talked to a friend of mine tonight. And he talked about how in Monogamous relationships, it's just with your partner, including no threeways which is something I'd like to do. He gave me definitions of the "4 Ways" a relationship can go by his definitions. There's Monogamous, Monogamous-Ish (Mostly to each other but every now and than, allow each other to do something outside), Poly (Monogamous but with more than one person) and Open (Poly but with more control). I told him I'd want to do things like threeways and it made me wonder if...a monogamous relationship is something I actually want. Yes, I want to focus on just one person. I tired doing "open" things with my boyfriend but I had to do a lot of work to get to a place where I was okay with some of it. Other than that, I'd get jealous, feel hurt and even feel angry sometimes. While I know what I want, I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm not sure EXACTLY what I want. Am I just Monogamous-ish? I feel like I have to be one or the other and I can't be some in-between. It's making me feel angry.

 

Get telegram and message me bro ( @ exeterdragon ) - I'll be happy to talk to you about this, I've been mono, poly, open, all of the above.

 

I truly hate being sick sometimes. No matter what degree of sickness it is my libido just friggin skyrockets to astronomical levels and it sucks terribly.

 

this happens with me as well. bad cold, take a shower have a session. Flu, take a shower have a session. i guess for me just being warm and comfortable just makes me want to do butt stuff.

 

Yeah that's basically how it is with me too.
Granted my libido in general is pretty high but it gets worse when sick.

 

Wow gla to see this place popping again. I''ll need to run thru here again!

 

Same, I've noticed that this place has gotten a sudden spark of life and it's great!

 

Nice to see you back @GreyFoxx

 

Whoa!
I didn't know this place was still alive!
Anyway, I'm back now.
Hello All!

 

Come talk on Telegram every once in a while. I know a lot of people miss you

 

Hello you old Coyote

 

Howdy!
How's life going?

 

I just might, on my nights off, I got a new phone several weeks ago. (My old dinosaur flip phone finally died)

Hey there, Hi there!

All work and no play. At least it seems that way.
My mate spends all my money, and I get little to show for it, except a big fat liger.
Sounds worse than it really is, but some days............

 

I have been talking RPG stories, I am not a fave of many groups in Louisville, I have been told I power game (most DM are assholes that like fucking your character I like to make that a challenge), I play too meta (I feel the meta is the fun part), and I do not respect party decisions (Don't let a Chaotic Neutral in a party of Lawful Goods).

Spoiler: Story Time

I was playing a Magus, Chaotic Neutral, world has some death god curse that turns all corpses into his minions and a custom curse that will kill you and buff your zombie form, that has a 5% chance of bringing your character back with all stats and lv.
So we are lv 5; one party member gets hit by the curse. I'm CN so I'm all, 'off with MoFo's head' but nope. A six hour meta conversation starts up on why their characters would not let this happen. 6 hours to come to the decision to do nothing.
Fast Forward three weeks
We are now Lv7 we are in combat with some undead, one of the group is hit with the death curse. Now my magus clears up his targets. 3 party members are fighting an Undead Orc Barbarian. The I look at our Barbarian and tell him to join the fight. Now I am alone with a cursed party member and everyone is busy. This curse is god level magic and I am the party's last magic welder; no one is can break this curse. So mid combat I removed the cursed members head and fire ball the remains. Then I was yelled at for attacking an ally while enemies were present. 4 party members were attacking the target (Our tank, rogue, and our two highest DPS). I had to defend my actions. Easy My character was CN and their characters lacked the stones to do the job.
I was not invited back since.
Though, the DM liked my character and was the last original party member to die.

 

@Eloe Elwe Aww I'm sorry to hear that. :<
I hope things get better for you.

 

Thanks
At least I have Christmas Eve and Christmas off, for a three day weekend. It will give me some time to play with my new PS4 I bought myself (providing Mo isn't watching 'Judge Judy' or something on MY TV. lol).

 

Hehe that's good that you have the Christmas holiday off.
Funny enough I have a PS4 too.