Dating Advice Thread

Okay, so, actually got to talk to her and things are sorted out. She was actually being upfront with me, without actually being upfront, if that makes sense, she told me that she just feels like she's suffocating with everything hitting her at once and that with having to scrape together money for a new car, as well having to up her insurance (before she just had liability, but now she has to get collision after experiencing that crash, which is understandable,) and having a premium tacked on for the crash, as well as sorting out college shit so she can go back this fall on top of already working from 11 AM to 11 PM, and that I've been wonderful to her but that it eats away at her that she isn't able to give me her all. And so I told her that I felt like what we have is special, which she agreed with, and that I haven't felt this strongly about someone ever (Lizzy was me wanting to feel that strongly about her but never being comfortable with it, which turned out to be for good reasoning because I learned just exactly what had been going on behind the scenes she instantly became someone I want no interaction with period,) not even my ex-step-father Chris who mentally and physically abused me growing up (I mean, I'm talking trying to put me through drywall. which I still have some, albeit very faded, scars from, it's almost for certain next time I see him I'm going to try to take his head off, which is problematic since he has the shotgun his father gave me and I really want it back,) and so that if it really was a case of her needing to take care of herself and her situation and not a case of her being done with me, then I would wait for her, because it would be worth it. Not to mention it'll allow me to actually be there for her without tormenting myself, so yeah. Not exactly what I wanted but better then I thought.

 

Wow so um, since I've been single I've learned that I have a habit of getting random crushes on people in my daily life that last about a week or so, but the most unexpected thing has happened. I was over my last crush on a guy (lets call him Bear), when out of nowhere last week he asked me "Hey Misskin, ya wanna go on a date?" I immediately said yes, but I was so surprised. I had thought he had been dropping hints about liking me the past few weeks, but they were easily explained away (for instance he mentioned to me about wanting to join a dating site. How the hell is that a hint?). I was also sure he wasn't interested because of our age difference, as of 6/15/16 i'll be 27 and hes still 20 until October. We had our first date on a rainy Sunday at my favorite rock climbing spot, which went very well, but I'm a little concerned. I'm not sure if its because hes so young or if its just his dating personality, but he seems WAY TOO into me. Its our first date and hes already calling me pet names, constantly wants to hold my hand and must have told me how cute/funny/sweet I am at least 30 times. It was honestly a bit overwhelming. After the climb we went to a nice greek restaurant and stopped by a bookstore. Maybe its because we've known each other for about 10 months already, but being with him is so comfortable and dare I say natural, like its always been that way. Right after the date was over he asked if I would come to his house tomorrow. Of course I was surprised, because that meant meeting his mom and siblings, something I consider to be a You Are Now MY Bf/Gf privilege, but I accepted anyway. The meeting was a teensy bit awkward as expected, but everyone was really nice and his mom (whom I think was born and raised in Tijuana, Mexico) made the most bomb ass nachos I've ever had. I'm talking homemade chips, handmade chorizo, strips of grilled beef and bell peppers, topped with sour cream and crumbled cheese. I could get used to that! We spent the time in his room having a marathon of Archer and making out >///> It didn't get too out of hand, but I'm tickled pink to know hes packing the human version of a small Flint and uncut (jackpot), my only complaint is that he handled me like I was made of glass, further training is in order ;3 I'll be seeing him again on my birthday Wednesday, hitting up Bernie's Burger Bus and Nan's Games and Comics store. I hope its another good time

 

Ah yes, the angst thread rears it's head once again.

Good job on finding a nice guy, @Misskin

The rest of us mourn the loss.

 

Speaking from personal experience, most guys aren't too sure how to treat or handle women. Some like really sweet, gentle guys. Others like aggressive men. Even then, words and what some women really want are two different things.

Reading this, it sounds like he thinks you're the former. He's probably wanting to take things easy and try to read how you act in his company, and get the opinions of his family before he decides to actually pursue a relationship with you. Guys generally like to take their time with actually forming a relationship, especially at that age. Both of you have your whole lives ahead of you, so needless to say, just take your time. Have fun.

 

Yeah, this is also part of why I haven't made a move yet on the girl I like. Even being friends with her for years, I don't know how I would handle that sort of subject....

 

Oi now, I'm not his girlfriend yet!

 

Years?! I think you should go for it, she might not stay single forever, how much more time does it take to get to know someone?

 

For me I feel like my dating game is almost near non-existent. When it comes to dating I'm probably one of the most socially awkward people you'll ever know. I'm not sure why I end up being that way but it does make it really hard to try and date people. It also doesn't help that I'm currently stuck in a place where I cannot connect with the people around me. However I know this is temporary, but I'm worried that I won't be able to get out of this socially awkward stage even after I leave where I'm at currently.

 

More than likely. He sounds like an eager little puppy. Its cute.

 

I don't know how though. And she's been not-single occasionally off and on during the last couple years, but it never lasts.

 

For me, I just haven't found someone I'm interesged in enough to pursue a relationship, or the the few I do end up not meeting my expectations.

But in your case, it's really up to you. Sometimes the best person for you is someone you've known for a long time.

 

It is cute, disgustingly sometimes lol like a big lump of sugar encased in maple syrup then rolled in melted chocolate

 

You didn't know how to tie your shoes or count to 10 at some point in your life, but you've learned. Just drop some hints, ask her out somewhere and tell her how she makes you feel. At the very worst she'll say she thinks you two work better as friends and that will be it. The weight will be off your shoulders and you can pursue other venues

 

Just slap him on the ass and say, "down boy!"

 

I mean, I do the first two a LOT but I've got zero experience talking about my feelings.

 

Well, you can only get experience one way.

 

Yeah, but I don't know how I'd even describe my feelings to myself.

 

Do the best you can

 

heheh you talk about your feelings a lot on here, I can only assume its because you're comfortable and trust us. If it will help, you could try talking to her about these things over the computer too. Start off like "Hey, I know I could've just called you or even met face to face, but theres something I wanted to talk about that I don't feel comfortable talking about in person. For the longest time I've had feelings for you that go beyond friendship and I've just not been able to tell you because I don't want to lose what we have now. Its okay if you don't know how to feel about this information, you don't have to respond right away, I just wanted to put it out there."

 

See, that sounds good and all, but I feel like I'd be at least a little put off by a confession like that from someone I didn't feel the same about. And I know I'm one of those awful people that will tend to avoid someone if they're into me and I'm not into them, because I've had awkward dealings with people when that happens.

To compound everything, this is the friend I'm going on a road trip with next month. We talked about hotel arrangements, and agreed that we were comfortable sleeping in the same bed to save money. The problem is that I don't know if that's because she trusts me NOT to try anything, or because she'd be okay with it if I DID try something. And I don't want to make her uncomfortable right before the trip either, because these rooms are already booked, and a month with someone you're not comfortable with is hell and I don't want to put her through that, but on the other hand if she IS okay with that kind of thing, we're going to have hotel rooms to ourselves for a month!

AAAAAAAAUGH.