Depression and Anxiety Support Thread

I feel like absolute shit. I'm letting people down because I'm getting depressed yet again and can't do anything about it. I have so much to do and all I can do is lay in bed and cry like the useless idiot I am.

 

I feel really shitty today for no reason. Really depressed and lonely and I've found myself crawling back into bed a few times.

 

I'm usually not the type to post but eh. I've been working on a really huge project since December of last year. I'm not going to go into details about it because I don't want it to look like I'm 'that guy' trying to pull attention or business. Let's just say it's art. Anyway...it's been a ton of hard work. A lot of clay work and making, remaking, sanding, hating what I made only to start over...sorta thing. So for someone like me who typically gives up on stuff right out the gate it's been a big process and like...overwhelming? But at the same time it was the only thing really pulling me out of bed on some days.

My life isn't bad, there's no reason for me to feel like such a buttmunch who just wants to lay in bed all day but sometimes I get super into a slump and that's all I do. But this project has kept me crawling out of bed to work on stuff and keep going. Only now my project is basically at it's end. Right now I'm at a point where I've 'finished' the art and there's nothing I need to work on ASAP. I reached my deadline of October. I did the thing and I actually saw something through to the end which is dandy. It feels pretty cool...?

Only I keep second guessing my art and worrying that it's not good enough or that it was all a waste? I dunno. Even putting this into text it sounds silly. But I feel myself getting back into that 'lets sleep all the time' and 'lets not leave the bed unless I have to go to work' mindset. Some of this art that I made has been purchased and people should be getting it any day now to open and that fills me with such high anxiety like fffffffff what if it's not good enough? I dunno. It's silly. It also doesn't help that the weather here is chilly so that's even more incentive to stay in bed. >.<

 

Art is subjective, so it's hard to say if it's "good enough." There's no art grading system to say whether it is or not, and tastes can vary wildly anyway. It's completely normal that you're worried about what someone will of your products. Can you contact the buyers and allow them to leave feedback? Then you could put your mind at ease.

Anyway, now that you've finished that project, why not start something else! I've felt the same as you: It's normal to feel in a slump if you aren't working on something, or otherwise have a "thing" to progress on every day. You like art, so I could keep at it.

 

I hadn't even thought of contacting buyers to ask about feedback. You're totally right. I should set up an area for them to leave feedback. At least that way I'd know how the products are being received! I might try working on something else :3 That'd probably be better than just sitting around feeling crummy and anxious... ahaha. Thank you. <3

 

Your welcome :3. It's a very common thing for businesses to survey your experience so they can find ways to improve. Same principle here: Ask for feedback and find out if they like the product. You might even ask for critique on what you could do differently, but that's harder to get out of a customer (because it requires thinking.)

 

Man job hunting has me at witt's end right now. I am about the happiest and friendliest person the average Joe would meet IRL; I love but hate retail. I love it because it gets me out of the house to meet people and see all the nice people that come in. On the other hand I absolutely hate it because you always get those rotten people who come in and just find anything to complain about. I'm surprised I haven't been told before that someone's ass hurts and it's all my fault because I was a shitty cashier lady.

But just... The fact that my anxiety keeps making me second-guess myself about getting a job is the worst. I feel like I'm disappointing my parents...my boyfriend... friends... I don't even know. Not really lookin' for anything in particular here or want anyone to express pity for me. It's my life and I have to be the one to be able to kick anxieties ass but fuck man.. This is such a let down. I found a place (going through a church mind you) that wanted someone for photography. They would pay for training and stuff but... They had a sweet $2,500 hiring bonus. I never applied because I was too afraid I wouldn't be good enough, or I would look like an idiot compared to everyone else who would've applied, I would've been ridiculed for not even being Christian and wanting to do work through a church...

I just feel like I can't win. I WANT job so desperately bad but... I'm so afraid of everything. Including myself.

 

Yeah, I've been waging a slow, sad battle with job applications for the past couple years now... I know that horrible feeling.

It doesn't help when people tell you to apply to jobs that you're not totally qualified for, despite the fact you don't even get calls from places you're slightly overqualified for.

 

Same. I've been applying for things for a couple months and just had my first interview. I very much dislike it. It feels like you're trying to sell yourself and nobody wants you.

As for anxiety about applying for jobs: Find out what skills are wanted. The job application should have a list of experience they're looking for, and perhaps some secondary skills or experience that are "preferred." If you have the skills listed: Go for it! If you don't have the skills, you can apply anyway, but are rather unlikely to be considered.

The hardest part of the hiring process tends to be getting invited to an interview. It's fairly painless to send in applications. If you don't get a call, don't worry about it. If you *do* it means they like what they see and want to get to know you.

Kinda like dating.

 

It's the getting the invitation to an interview that is the hardest for me. After years of not even getting that far (for regular, year round work), it's hard not feeling defeated.

 

*empathy like*

 

I just feel pretty unhireable.

 

That's because it is the hardest part (in general.) The hiring manager I saw last Monday said that himself (and that's a pretty good source!) They go through 100s of apps, and might only interview a select few.

They really go by the skills listed when filtering though all those applications (though a solid CV helps.) If you have everything they need, you're much more likely to end up in the "lets consider this guy," pile.

 

Gotta wonder why I don't get called back when I have all the skills necessary then.

 

It's apparently very common to get ignored for literally dozens of applications. If you have all the skills, your best bet is having a CV tailored to the position. Beyond that, mass-send as many applications as you can for positions you want.

You are going to get ignored / not replied to most of the time, but you only need one bite to have a shot.

 

I'm not even talking skilled jobs here. I mean bottom of the barrel jobs that most people think are for high school students.

 

That's fine. Luckily there's tons and tons of those (and there is a lot of competition, unfortunately, that's just how it is.) Mass-apply for all of them that you're willing to do.
My interview was for an entry-level job as well.

 

I think a part of the problem is that almost all applications are online anymore. There is one place, a movie theater (smaller chain, not like Regal or whatever, but still not based here), that I'm going to try, I've worked 3 movie theaters before, at all operational positions. That was before projectionist (the only skilled position I've ever had) became a management only position and the movies weren't on dvd's. I'd go for management so I could do projection, being as unsocial as I am. I'd love it if an Alamo Drafthouse opened closer to me though, the nearest one's are 2, 3 hours away. If one did, my application would be in so fast.

 

Really sucks to have your skill go obsolete, I'm sorry :/. That is one of my big fears of studying something in college: Finding it useless and ending up with debts.
What's wrong with online applications? They can be a blessing in that they let you apply to many more places in a much shorter time period. What you could try is applying online, and if you particularly like a position, also show up to ask in person.

 

Oh god, this. I freaking hate online applications, because you KNOW it's not going to you.

I did some (low-effort) research and found that maybe 20% of people are hired from online applications, but like 75% of non-degree jobs are posted online.