Depression and Anxiety Support Thread

Well the thing is I feel like I've reached the point where all the things that I want to avoid IRL that make me feel depressed are also happening across all social media that I'm associated with.
So basically I'm stuck, and honestly it's the worst feeling I have ever experienced...

 

What are you trying to avoid but still encountering here?

 

You are too sweet.

 

@Velixer I used to get anxious from being online sometimes so I can relate. if you need a break do it. Putting yourself first is the most important thing.
@Dracoa I get don't ever expect any responses on the other forum, and I'm usually right. I think this forum has sweet people who know the feeling and in turn are more likely to respond.

I don't want to put this on fb, and I feel safer here.
On a bad side my anxiety is really high and I have no way to cope. It's a rational fear so I don't know what to do . I gotta take my father to the ER for internal bleeding. It's my first day of university and all this happening at once makes me terrified. I feel like I'm being apethetic , because I'm freaking out ,but I do love my father and am scared for him. This is the secound time he will have to go in for bleeding so I hope it's a quick fix. It's just my mum seems to thrive off this chaos and that creeps me out.....I don't know what to do .

 

http://www.ted.com/talks/emilie_wapnick_why_some_of_us_don_t_have_one_true_calling#t-111365

I'm just gonna leave this one here.

 

I've had it since I was ten. I'm not on meds, nor do I want to be. I already take a crap ton of pills due to my crappy health (I was born 5 months early). Over the years, I got to the point a few times where I was suicidal, though I have never told my parents that. Lately, I have been very lonely and honestly have been feeling unloved. I don't know if any of you are religious, but if you are, please pray for me.

 

Oh, and I also have terrible social anxiety. Just interating with people makes my heart race and makes me extremely shaky.

 

Plz dr.tran i need ur help

 

I've had depression for as long as I can remember; according to my parents, I started showing symptoms when I was two years old. I was eventually diagnosed with "treatment-resistant major depressive disorder, severe" and "anxiety disorder, not otherwise specified", which is about as bad as depression gets without also presenting with psychosis.

The thing is, though, that I'm a very successful person, by all accounts, and I should be tremendously happy: I'll have a master's degree in less than three weeks and a Ph.D in under four years, I have more talents than any one person should reasonably have (this actually isn't fun at all; it's kind of like being pulled in five different directions by five different horses but I digress...), and I make enough money that I can occasionally spend non-negligible amounts on non-essentials without worrying about not having enough.

That said: I'm utterly miserable half of the time. I haven't been able to bring myself to clean my apartment in longer than I'm willing to admit and I would almost certainly spend the entire day in bed, half-asleep and feeling lonely and unhappy, if I didn't have to get up and go places in the mornings. There are dozens of things that I want to do, that I've promised myself I would make time to do, that I haven't done yet because I keep feeling like doing those things is not a responsible use of my time. Instead, I end up feeling paralyzed, caught between not wanting to do the things I should responsibly get out of the way so I can do fun things and wanting to do fun things but knowing I shouldn't do them first, so I end up doing nothing. I haven't had a good night's sleep since December and I haven't even left my apartment in two days...

All I really want right now is to be held and have the back of my neck stroked gently until I fall asleep. ;~;

 

*big hug* I'm too familiar with this than I'd like to be, but I understand what you're going through. I'm here if you'd like someone to talk to! :3

 

Depression sucks. I was diagnosed much later than you, mid teens.

At least you've had some form of success in life. Mine has kept me from doing much of anything. There's very little I get real enjoyment out of, and what little I do get enjoyment out of I can't make a career. Most of the time I feel nothing, blank, etc. There's not even anything I want to do.

 

*hugs back* ...I would like that, yes. ;3;

 

Ah, I'm a owner of both anxiety and depression but I take medication for it. It's going okay since it's ironed out the symptoms but there has been some drops and I'm more vocal to people and other services now than I was before. I am still somewhat anxious & get depressed about some things but it's not as bad as it was in the first place (I'm also a bit of a worrier too sometimes). I kind of regret not starting it sooner but I was too afraid to do so.

If things get too much and I just don't want to talk to any people that I know, I will consider coming here when I need it.

 

It's good to have a place to vent and better to run into a few people who can help and have been there

 

I've had those sorts of feelings before, but my depression isn't quite so bad. It's always worst when the apathy hits. I've had weeks on end where I get in a cycle of sleeping in, not doing chores, shirking responsibility, distracting myself with entertainment, and being constantly tired.

You said it's treatment resistant, so have you talked to your doctor about stimulants? It's not the most attractive option, but I know that ADHD/ADD meds like Adderall, which I took as a child, not only help me uncloud my mind and focus my thoughts, but they also give me a nervous energy that compels me to do those sorts of chores like cleaning and cooking myself a proper meal. I don't know if the effect would be the same on someone with purely depression/anxiety, but it wouldn't hurt to talk to a doctor about it.

 

Yep; I've had prescriptions for almost every different stimulant in the standard pharmacopoeia at one point or another. The only one that seemed to do enough good in proportion to the side-effects to be somewhat worth it was modafinil.

 

I hope things get better for you, dear.

 

I really, genuinely wish my parents hadn't had me.

 

I know the feeling very well..