Depression and Anxiety Support Thread

I'm so fucking tired. Sometimes I wish I could just loose my mind completely and be free of it.

 

I was thinking the other day cause I had been off my meds in protest again and such I was having really bad side effects. But because of this I was thinking of how does one go into a permanent sleep without killing yourself (the afterlife frightens me).

Just so the noises stopped, the irritating noises of the world. It hurts so much to listen to stupid humans they are just so noisy it's frustrating it grates on the beast inside who just wants to lash out and silence it all to make the pain in my ears and in my head stop.

Protest didn't last long I've been put back on my meds again.

 

Yeah, going off meds is a bad idea. I would know. x.x

 

No one listens to me otherwise.

 

That's not a good reason :/

 

Yeah, messing around with medications is a BIG no-no.
Especially NOT to spite people, or get them to 'listen to you'.
if you don't taper off of certain medications (and antidepressants and anxiety meds are notorious for this) it can make your condition worse, and unbalance brain chemicals for a long time.

 

That, and the fact that there's a REASON you're on the things in the first place. You'd be surprised how many cases of suicide happen right after someone decides they don't need their meds any more.

 

But people walk all over me when I am on them though.

 

Its funny, I just straight up quit my SSRIs one day and it was one the best decisions I've made.
Edit: not that I'm recommending it, to be clear.

 

Then you need to address them about it yourself, not passive aggressively by not taking your meds.

 

Okay, but going off your meds won't make them take you seriously forever. They know you need to be back on them, and they know you know that. For them, it's the equivalent of a toddler throwing a tantrum. They know if they just play along, it'll be over soon enough. You need to show you're capable of asserting yourself when you're ON the meds, or they're never going to give you the respect you want and deserve.

 

I see what your saying guys. I guess I am just fed up of being a door mat for people. Without them I can tell people where to go if I don't like what their asking.
On them I'm just like ok.
Even if I am on them and I say no they'll question whether I've had my meds.
I hate having to be mean to get what I want but no one listens to me. I'm like invisible till someone wants something from me.

 

I am not sure what your condition is, or what you deal with, but if the meds are hindering your life and happiness, you should talk to your doctor about possibly switching medications.
Or, consider alternative ways to deal with your condition. Meditation has done wonders for my anxiety.

 

@SnowLycan, do you go to therapy? Because this seems like a very valid question of help to me: "I feel like people walk all over me, and I strongly dislike this (of course), how can I change this?" Saying stuff like "I'll stop my meds if.." or stopping them and not taking them unless they do what you want, is a form of blackmail. Your behaviour might have unwanted side-effects this way, and might even enforce other people not taking you seriously.

 

Heh, my disorder IS the minor depression I will consider upping my dose of meds, it might not be the worst thing ever. I'll see the work physician tomorrow, and I'm curious what they have to say.

 

I went for therapy when I had my break down and was switched to multiple different therapists. In the end they said they couldn't do anything for me because I have to many issues to treat and can't find the underlying source of my stress and anxieties because of this. So I am to take the meds until I am better or dead it seems.

 

That means you have to find new therapists, althought that is ha5rd. Finding the right treatment is a hard job (too hard, if you ask me), but it is important.

 

Sounds to me like these therapists are getting a severe case of "I don't feel like it" which is really pathetic. If their job is helping people work out their problems, and they're claiming you have too many to work out, then they aren't doing their job, and are super shitty therapists and human beings for denying treatment to a patient that, by their own standards, needs it the most. Find another therapist, and don't let them give you that bullshit again. And yes, maybe you WILL need to take the meds forever. That's nothing to be ashamed of, and a therapist that refuses to speak to someone who is medicated should lose their license.

 

I thinking about seeing another doctor and seeing what other diagnoses I can add to my resume. Already got paranoid schizophrenia, major depression, and PTSD under my belt, and at this rate I'm poised for a grand slam.