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(For guys) how &when do you tell a date/ gf that you're into...

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Fletch, Aug 2, 2019.

  1. Fletch

    Fletch Active Member

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    As a guy who loves booty play, bad dragon, and other taboo topics, this can be a struggle. I don't wanna waste time on someone who can't accept me, but i don't go around sharing this info with just everyone. So just curious when and how others have done this? And ladies who may be reading, feel free to drop your thoughts on the matter too. I've had girlfriends who thought I'd turn gay on them, ones who were fine without participating, and one who rather enjoyed participating in the act. But it's always a stressful admission
     
  2. Skunkie

    Skunkie Active Member

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    I think it will become easier over time, as more sex-positive younger people replace the older scared cis-types. Backlash will lessen, allies will rise. So im of a mind that thinks hey who cares if I have BD sticker on my truck.
    When I first met my gf of 15 years I was dating two different guys, (I was also high on acid and wearing her school uniform skirt) so me broaching any subject, regardless of her interest level is never met with derision. The differences and honesty, including taking bigger dicks than her, and being loyal; are what appeals to her. Never has she worried id turn gay...(I mean no offense to my gay family, but that's to narrow for me anyhow), that's a sign of the other partner's insecurity. She is not specifically interested in playing with me, I don't mind. But she recognizes my needs and can even tell when I need a good play sesh.

    Tl;dr: be yourself, be honest, trust your instincts on how to broach the subject, prepare for the worst hope for the best, and eventually you will find the partner for you! ^.^
     
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  3. C_raptor

    C_raptor Member

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    I find my wife has a hard time with it even now after a few years. When I first told her (when we first started dating) she seemed okay with it, we were crazy in love so even a box of Dildos wasn't going to stop her haha
    But I was terrified of scaring her off. It took a lot of guts for me to tell her, but she accepted that it was a hobby of mine. I think her biggest concern was that I was secretly gay and would maybe leave her. Obviously I made that pretty clear that I wasnt which is kinda hard with a closet full of Dildos but I think what she doesn't like about it is how intimating it is. She deep down feels like she can't please me in the bedroom which is ridiculous, so I decided to just do it in my spare time so she doesn't have to think about it. Maybe one day we will explore into more together but for now I'm just enjoying it on the side.
     
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  4. Fletch

    Fletch Active Member

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    C-raptor... that is the same approach I've pretty much used in the past. Make it known, open to help, but fine with doing it on my own time. Figured it might get tougher now that I own a unicorn horn and a horse-dog (tucker)
     
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  5. C_raptor

    C_raptor Member

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    Don't get me wrong it's not easy telling someone you have feelings for something like this. Yeah it is weird to someone who doesn't do it , but damnit it feels great haha like how do you explain that to someone? I try say it's kind of like another form of maturation/self pleasuring. I don't know I'm still trying to convince her 100% to not be weird about it haha
     
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  6. grigori

    grigori Member

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    I took almost 6 months of dating to tell my ex-gf I was into it. I hinted before but she never understood until I actually showed the toys... They are almost all XLs so she was kind of confused on how one would use those. At first as I explained she was fine and positive about it, but for some reason she decided to google porn on it by herself. And only god knows what she saw, she never described it to me. She expressed concern and was very reticent after that, not wanting to take part or talk about it. In the end nearly a year later we broke up but it was never brought as reason for the breakup.

    So yeah.. it is always stressful, but is now part of me and my sexual well being. If I ever went on another relationship I think I will bring it sooner, it depends on the relationship development speed, which varies, but as you said: I can't be on a relationship where my partner does not accept how I am.
     
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