Online dating sites...

I'm all for OkCupid. Found my ex girlfriend on there, plus some other dates.

 

Not sure saying you found your ex there is a good endorsement.

 

to be fair just because someone is an ex doesn't mean the relationship was a bad one. Very few people permanently stay with their first boyfriend or girlfriend

 

I suppose that's true

 

Yeah We were together for 3 years, and broke up mostly because of the distance (UK/Netherlands)

 

I have never used any of these dating sites, but I heard OKcupid and eHarmony are good.

 

Dude, there's your chance! Go for it!

 

I still firmly believe that browsing online profiles like product pages for a potential mate is not the way to go.
If you can't handle social interactions, then maybe you're not fully ready to be in a relationship.

Part of the humanity of dating and falling in love is the initial attraction, that very first connection. Seeing their face when you comment them or ask them a question, eager for their answer. Blushing in front of each other and nervously holding hands for the first time when you realize that you like each other a lot. I fear that society today is becoming more and more isolated because of technology. Sure we can comment all day on each other's statuses, but does that really mean anything? You don't make memories that way.

 

Well, a lot of guys are like me, and fear that if we tell someone we find them attractive, we'll be viewed as an asshole. The reason for online dating isn't so you don't have to interact directly, it's so you can talk to people you know are also interested, instead of dealing with that awkwardness of having to bring up the subject.
And there's no reason why you can't be having all those experiences on the first date. I know I flirt a LOT online, but if I met someone IRL who I'd been flirting with, I'd still feel that same amount of shyness and excitement.

 

Don't discount online dating. Just talk about you. Be honest. The things about yourself that somebody is attracted to are often not things you would think are going to catch somebody's attention. I talked about my science rants as a point of caution, and that, along with my nose, are some of the main reasons my boyfriend of almost two years messaged me. Our first date was in a museum and we were just meant to be together, clearly.

And try not to hold yourself above people, everyone has a story, even if they're not very good at being personable online. There are a handful of types on those sites, you have your nervous and hopeless types who are convinced it's not going to work for them and they're always on the verge of deleting their accounts. You have the shallow types who overvalue their appearance and fail to advertise any qualities beyond their BMI. You have your adventurous types who will try anything and talk to anyone. You have your watchers who never say a word to anyone and never even put up a picture. You have your non-serious types who send short messages consisting of just "ur sexxy" and expect it to get them laid. On average, people are good, kind, interesting, and caring, but dating sites make it too easy to slip into these kinds of roles. So don't dismiss the whole experience because the people who send the most messages are people who aren't your type. You have to hunt for what interests you as much as they send random messages containing nothing of interest to anybody and everybody.

Don't lose hope. I had 3 very nice dates from my time on Plenty of Fish. One of them is going to be my partner til the day I die. My parents met there too. His profile was so goofy and funny he had to create a second profile for the other half of his stuff to spill onto. For one of their first few dates they spent a weekend in Montreal. Consider that people who fit into one body category might not also be people who fit into the personality and values categories that matter to you. It's okay to have preferences, just understand what your priorities are and be willing to be authentically you. Put some effort in. Ask more questions than you give answers. When people send you pathetic messages, fight a story out of them, learn something, make them behave like a respectable human being. Make the site work for you.

 

Now sugarcube just you be careful of those trap characters you find lurking online and you should be fine.
Also it depends what you class as obese, is it morbidly obese or a bit chubby?
Judging a girl by her exterior can often make you miss out of the gem inside. Remember exteriors can be changed but a pure and good soul cannot.

 

So people that just ram fast food down there mouths then complain they are over weight but do nothing about it are the ones you avoid I guess.
I must admit if I was searching for a guy or a girl I would want a healthy mate to. That means smoking is a no no and drinking is for the weekends.

 

Well now I feel kinda bad. :/

 

Eh, yes and no. There was a two year period of time where my family literally could not afford anything outside of off-brand meal packages (not shit that you microwave or anything like that, but like box meals, similar to Hamburger Helper and things like that,) and that's when most of my weight gain was. When you're sinking into a hole of debt you're going to go for the cheapest food, which unfortunately at the time was either boxed meals or fast food. Thankfully my mom was able to secure a better paying job in Connecticut and I've since made some pretty big eating habit changes that we can actually afford, but there's definitely some cases where there is valid reasoning behind eating pre-packaged meals.

Complaining about their weight though isn't, unless you're disabled then you have the ability to go for a run around the block and drop that weight regardless of what you're putting into yourself.

 

@SnowLycan @BDCA @MurphyAlter
We can't forget that some people live on very tight budgets that just don't allow for buying healthy foods (which seems criminal in my mind). If you only have 35 dollars for groceries, you can bet someone is going to stretch it buying a tv dinner rather than the 13 ingredients needed to make the healthy version of the same meal.

This is precisely why I plan to grow as much of my own food as possible

 

Aaah man @Misskin & @Blinding. You guys pretty much hit the nail on the head. :I This is pretty much my household's problem currently. Healthy food costs way too much compared to the cheap junk food. Like you said Misskin, it is pretty criminal. I wish we'd do it like some European countries; tax the shit out of junk food and lower the price of healthy food. Then people could treat junk food like treats and buy them when they've been good.