Orgasm hangover?

I'm not so much asking for help as for an explanation, or if anyone else experiences this. (Though if anyone can suggest a 'cure', I'd certainly like that too.)

For years, whenever I have really awesome sex, the next day, I am super irritable. PMS-level irritable. It seemed to start when my SO and I started making a bigger deal of our sessions: 1-2 hours, porn, lingerie/costumes, 2-5 orgasms for me, etc. (A quick, 1- or 0-orgasm session won't trigger the problem.) I finally decided that it was not just in my head and did some research, and found references to something called an "orgasm hangover": basically, the drop in dopamine and the rise of another hormone trigger a sort of withdrawal effect. Problem is, these references are few and far between, mostly concentrated on holistic medicine websites or people advocating orgasm-avoidance (haha, NO), so I'm not sure how much credibility to give them.

Am I the only one with this problem?

 

Yup, it can happen to me too, although with me it's often related after intense bdsm-play, which probably leads to the same chemical effects. It might not be completely the same, but maybe look for stuff on subdrop, and how people deal with that. As a cure, I usually go for epic self care (nice drinks and food, extra warmth, doing calming things I like, etc).

 

Good to know! Well, I mean, I'm sorry you have to go through that too But thank you.

Woah, just googled subdrop. So far that sounds really similar. I don't feel at all regretful or guilty, certainly no doubts about my SO's feelings for me, but the rest of it...yeah, that sounds exactly right. And...uh...wow, apparently more of what we do counts as bdsm than I realized! Looks like I have some reading to do! Thanks!

 

Whoa...I can honestly say I've never heard of that. (Not saying I don't believe you though )

Usually when I have awesome sex, it cures my irritability, and makes me feel even closer to my boyfriend. It's the main reason I love it so much.

 

Don't get me wrong; it's not like I hate sex or I suddenly turn into a monster afterwards. It just feels, well, like PMSing, or like not getting enough sleep: I can still be happy about the experience and feel closer to my spouse, but I have to fight the urge to snap at anyone over minor things. Sort of a feeling of let down, like stepping off a roller coaster and realizing the ride's over, except that it usually takes a few hours to kick in, and it lasts about 12-24 hours. I want to sit in ball and snuggle with my SO, or play video games, or sleep, and above all, not be told to do anything I don't want to do. I know, I sound like a cranky 3-year-old

We only have sex 1-2 times a week (quality over quantity, I suppose? lol), and I wouldn't trade our routine for anything. It's just...weird.

 

When I read through your post I also thought it sounded a lot like subdrop. You can also find a lot of stuff about it on sites like FetLife. You might also want to look up articles about aftercare in BDSM. It mostly says the kinds of things you already do, or crave to do, but you might find some ideas that way.

And yeah, BDSM doesn't just have to be stuff like flogging and whips. To me, it's putting the body through extremes, be that orgasming until you can't breathe or think or function and end up in a puddle on the bed (literally and figuratively), or being chained to a wall and beaten, or any sort of sensation play!

((And I certainly would never recommend not having sex/orgasms as a cure. WTF crazy internet.))

 

I feel so silly 'taking care of myself' afterwards: *dramatic hand on forehead* "Woah is me! I had a fantastic experience last night, so pity me as I grieve its loss!" Now that I know it's reasonably well-known and has a medical reason, I can at least cut myself some slack, I suppose.

THIS!!!

 

uhm, not having sex as the "cure" sounds like a worse solution than the problem XDD wow! I feel like the rare occasion I have had this... usually my biggest problems tend to be starting a play session with a mild headache or body ache and making it worse by playing too hard. My ex used to claim 'orgasms relieve headaches', which in THEORY is true I guess considering all the chemicals, but I tend to tense up a lot during any kind of sex or play and that tends to turn a mild ache into a bad one.

So curious... My "cure" for a particularly mild booze hangover tends to be a little ahir of the dog and a lot of food and water... have you ever tried a very mild masterbation session to try to up your dopamine? And I mean, quickie style, something non penetrative and fairly low energy? I sometimes have to stagger myself down from a really good orgasm with a less intense, often quicker session. I sometimes pass out pretty fast after a really hard toying and in the morning waking up and playing with a smaller toy, or just masterbating helps me shake the loaf about blues

 

Don't feel bad! Aftercare is as important as foreplay... think of it as... IDK post natal care versus pre natal care... you can't say one is more important than the other! Some people need some intense work after they've been pounded all to hell and back and some are just 'DON'T TOUCH ME!" XD I am extremely the opposite where I want as little contact as possible afterwards. I'm usually hot and sweaty and the idea of touching another hot and moist thing, person, toy or otherwise makes me crazy.

Also, I love your Morticia/Gomez thread. BEST couple ever <3

 

Yeah...I would think that gentle playtime might be nice, but I once made the mistake of starting with a headache and engaging in fun that involved my head hanging upside down off the bed for awhile. That ended poorly.

I haven't tried that! My sex drive usually drops the next day, but it's worth a try!

Don't think I can take credit for that thread @Robert Thompson has been talking a lot about the Addams Family, and I stole my sig from something he posted, hehe.

 

Yes Orgasms can cause hangovers if you have too many of them. Aim for once or twice a day if you are masturbating. More with a partner.

 

I get that sometimes. usually masturbating a few times throughout the day helps lessen it