Just got to watch my best friend have sex with her lesbian girlfriend.
I know she did it for me because she is aware I love her (she does not feel the same about me, though we are close) and its her way of doing something nice for me as ive taken her under my wing financially due to a really bad situation basically left her homeless which didn't help as I have a very protective instinct so it just intensified my feelings for her.
I wrote a letter to her several months (before the bad situation) ago, telling her that I think it was time we go our separate ways because the whole thing just makes me feel like shit, all the time, but I cant ever bring myself to give it to her because I need her also.
In life, to people who know me i'm the one they turn to for emotional support, i've never been outward with my emotions and many see this as a sign of strength, so they come to me to be the steady rock, and she is mine, without her I would crumble.
I pretty much live in constant emotional pain, and just dont see a way out.
So what does this have to do with the first line? Well it pretty much shows what we have... that we have that bond between us... and it causes me pain but to break it would break us both...
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