I need a place to vent a bit, can't think of anywhere good to do it so I'll shout into the void.
I feel unwanted. No one actually cares if I'm there or not. I live so far away from my 'friends' that there's no point in me trying to hang out with anyone, they'll just hang out with people that are nearby, those that are convenient for them. I'm not convenient. I went to an overnight party this weekend, brought my Rock Band gear so people could play, went pretty well with some people, those I didn't really know. Saw some of my friends early in the evening. The next morning? "Oh, your still here? we thought you left." as they rush out the door. It's not like I was in the same place all night running the Rock Band set up. They literally couldn't be bothered to walk down some stairs to see if I was still there. Didn't care if I was there or not. These past couple days I've had the house to myself, not that it's worth anything. I have work so my day is spent out all day, I get home and have to deal with other things so by the time I could do something just for me, there isn't enough time in the evening, so I plop down, wasting the little time I do have. Can't invite anybody over cause I have work the next day anyway. Besides, who the fuck would want to drive an hour+ just to see me? I haven't been able to see my master in over a month. Last time I saw him was only because I had to drop something off at his place. He doesn't have time for me anymore. Doesn't even give a reason. "Hey, I have this day off, wanna hang out?" "Eeeehhhhh." That really makes me feel loved. He probably only still tolerates me cause he's gonna be mooching my room at a con soon. Hell, he'll probably run off to some other room parties and I'll be alone all weekend. It's a constant cycle like this with any friends I get. I'm disposable. I'm nothing.