Hello! So, I know I've already commented on a few pages, and bought a few things, but I guess since I'm starting to use this website more, I should probably actually introduce myself 
I'm male, 21, a bit on the chubby side, and as far as I can feel, straight.
I'm a techie. Ever since I was a kid, I loved taking things apart and seeing how they worked. Now that I'm a bit grown up, I have 2 3D printers, 3 FPV quad copters, and SO MANY little projects that I'm always working on and never finishing x'D.
I'm a bit ADD/ADHD when it comes to the projects I'm working on and the interest I have. Sometimes I'm in love with something and won't stop doing it for a few weeks, but then I'll move onto something else. Then a few months later I'll get back into the first thing. It doesn't matter if it's gaming, 3d printing, or drones. I just keep going through phases!
I wonder sometimes if I have a bit of autism, as I didn't do well in school, but there are a few things that I'm pretty good at. Of course I'll never know unless I get tested. If I do, I don't think it'll be that bad. It might even make me feel a bit better, as it'll help me to understand why I have trouble in some things.
As for my sexuality, I would say I'm bi-curious.. But leaning to straight. I'd only have interest in being with a cis girl. But I have no problems being friends with anybody. I do fantasize sometimes cuddling with a femboy, but never a guy who doesn't look feminine. I'm sure that if I made friends with a femboy, and if they were being lewd around me, I'd probably be lewd back at them. Letting them sit on my lap, them being cute and possibly trying to get me to do something.... Excuse me for a second..
Even though I say that, the most I'd probably ever do IRL is just hug and possibly nuzzle them. I'd be too shy to play around and be lewd. I'm too cuddly to be lewd.
Friends? Eheh.. To be honest, I probably shouldn't make friends on here. My family is christian, so me even being into this stuff is super bad. Especially since I now own 2 toys x'D But I guess it's my life to mess up. I can't change what I've already done.
If it happens though, I wouldn't mind being friends with someone on here. Just know that I will be keeping my IRL self secret from you unless you live close by. (So pics, other websites I use, names, and other stuff like that) If I were to become friends with someone on here who lives close by, I of course wouldn't mind meeting up. Of course I'm going to be safe about it though
I LOVE helping people. IDK what it is, I guess it was the way I was raised or something.
So if you have trouble with anything, let me know!
I'd say that I'm a great listener, but I suck at giving advice. I'm more of a helper with physical / technical problems.
My relationship.. I guess you could really just skip to the last paragraph. Just skip the stupidly sad story bellow.
I used to have somebody who I loved. We had met a long time ago in a game. We started talking, after a while kinda fell in love with each other. I went to visit her (half way across the country) and it was fucking awesome being able to actually hug her, hold her, and kiss her for the first time. We got a bit lewd, but the most we ever did was grind our first night alone. We didn't go any further cause we promised each other to stay clean till we got married. Or at least until we lived together. We got so close. But then one day something happened. I don't remember exactly what, but for some stupid reason I thought we were over, and I did something amazingly stupid..
I don't know if I felt like I needed to rebound, or if I just wanted to say I love you to somebody.. I started talking with someone, I started having feelings for her. I told her something that I shouldn't have. I don't know why I did but it happened. Then a few days later my true love messaged me again. We talked and I found out that I had done something horribly wrong. I did tell her that I started talking to somebody, but I ended it as soon as I saw my wrong doings. But the second girl got mad. She made fun of the other with what I had told her, and with it being so close to what had happened before, I got dumped.. I was woken up. Called by a crying girl, asking why. Why did I tell her. I was trying to get her to calm down and tell me what happened, and once she did, I felt my heart drop. I told the truth. I had messed up. But with what had happened before, she said bye... She didn't talk to me for months. There was nothing I could do except cry.
For the first time in my life, at 20 years old, I became depressed. Wishing I could go back in time and undo what I had done. Wishing I wasn't able to feel anything. Wishing I wasn't around anymore..
Then a few months later, we started talking again. She told me how a friend from school had helped her to try to forgive me. I was so happy, so thankful. But from then on, we were just friends. After a few more months, I decided to go visit her again. It was nice. But the few months before I went, I noticed that she started getting close to the friend from school. It fucking hurt.
Being near her again, but only being able to give her a hug while she was cuddling the person she now loved hurt so much. Sure, we were friends, and yes, I was thankful to be able to talk to her, but it still hurt. One night he wasn't able to come over to watch a movie. She noticed that I was a bit sad and we started talking.. I cried in front of her. She tried calming me and tried making me feel better. It worked, but only for the time being. That night, since he wasn't there, I had to walk her to her house. Since it as already midnight, she told me to stay and sleep on the couch.. The same couch that we slept on our first night together. I tried, but after she had gone to her room, I started thinking of the last time I was there.. I started crying again, and I knew that I had to leave. So I did. One in the morning, walking alone at night in New York. It was creepy, but I couldn't sleep on that couch again.
Now I'm back here. Almost a full year since we broke up. Still thinking about her every now and then, but finally starting to get over it. Finally thinking of her as a friend, and not an ex. There are times where I wish they would get in a fight, and she would come back to me. But I hate myself when I think of that. I don't ever want her hurt again. I just want her to be happy.
I try to be happy. I try to move on. I try to just think of other things. But when talking to her, I have no wall. She can see right through me. I remember one time when we were in a call with some random guy while her and I were together, and the guy didn't know that her and I were a thing. He thought she was still with her ex, so when he mention that, I guess I had a shocked expression or something. I had left the call saying I had to do something as an excuse. She instantly msged me. I guess she saw my reaction right as he said it, cause she knew exactly what I felt.
She's still fucking like that too. Seemingly able to just read my mind. I hate it, cause it's obvious that I still love her. She knows that it hurts me sometimes to talk to her. But after not talking as much, especially since she's gone on to college, it's gotten easier. Easier to have a facade, and easier to not think of her as someone I love, but as a friend.
If you read the spoilers, I'm sorry. I guess I just needed a place to write down my feelings for a bit.
Writing this, I think I should just not include them and only leave the small paragraph.. I don't know.
I guess that's me. Thank you for reading.
I do kind of hope to make a friend or two here. Especially if you live close by. Ya know what? I live right nearby Denver International Airport.
If you want to be friends, let's do it. As you read above, I'm into drones, 3d printing, and I would prefer a simple friendship.
TTFN.