The "Bad Mood" Thread

See, I have an out. If someone asks me if I'm gay, I can honestly say no, because I'm bi (but I don't have to say that part! )

 

Lately all I've felt like is a fat piece of garbage. A fat piece of garbage who is literally a mental and physical outlet for everyone to use. It makes me feel really unhappy and generally hate my life. Sometimes there's wishes to be non-existent to the world, but I would miss so much. I just wish those that are closer to me would be more help to me.

 

This weekend has had good parts, but overall was kinda crap. Really good to be spending time with my brother, that part is welcome. Yesterday I spent about... twelve straight hours sewing a costume I thought I had to have ready for today, and hurt my back in the process. Turned out I didn't need it, plans got canceled. Plus, Calculus II is making me stressed to the point of being depressed and sick to my stomach. First exam was a 68, which I can work with, but I'm just struggling so hard. I feel like I'm drowning. Calc I was much better, I got a B-. If I can't do this reliably on my own, how am I going to survive going to grad school for geologic engineering? (Assuming I get in somewhere.)

 

5 days left until they demolish the biggest public library here. Just because people living in the building that is behind can't see the sea. Literally.
They have denounced that, not because the library was illegally built but 'cause they can't see the sea. That reflect the culture level around here.

 

That is so sad!

 

got a call this morning from my father. i had the worst sinking feeling in my stomach when i heard my step dad relay the message to me. he said 'not to bullshit around and call him right away'. so i did once i got out of the shower.

my gut feeling unfortunately was confirmed.

my grandmother died last night.

i just...i don't know how or what to feel. my medication blocks a lot of things and keeps me from feeling sad or down so now i just feel...angry. im so angry that no one tried to help her years ago. im angry that my dad could have done something but instead he pissed off half my family and moved away. he's the oldest of three brothers and it was his duty to help his mother but no. he got angry and couldn't deal with it and ran off. im angry they threw her into a shitty nursing home and didn't get her any help. they left her to slowly rot and die.

ive been on and off crying. i just...

i called my speech professor since most likely the funeral will be happening on a day i have class with him so he's given me a few days off and he'll be calling me each class day to give me the assignments and tell me what happened in class that day.

im gonna go curl up to my plushies now.

 

I had a bad feeling about being in a good mood today. Came in into my studio to play a few hours and what do I find? Yes, you guessed. My most precious guitar more than 1400$ valued, covered in mold. After a 3 days clean up in the place, the guitar being in its suitcase, inside a bag. Yeeehaw.
I'm just tired of this. And I cannot give up that guitar because I couldn't get the same one. Since Jackson was bought by fender, their colours are just meh. They don't do swirls anymore and the last time I checked, swirls were up to 1000$. So yeah, my guitar is even rare-r.
I don't want my things pristine clean or diamond shiny. I just want them not to get moldy.

 

Wait, your guitar grew mold in three days?

 

Maybe a week or two. But after a 3 days long clean up. I mean... that's impossible.

 

@Misskin What's wrong?

 

Well now nothing I suppose. I had a bunch of lemons, but now its lemonade...not very sweet, but still lemonade

 

@Misskin I'm willing to talk if you want

@PrincessGustopher Sorry to hear about your grandma. Stay strong you and your family will get through this.

 

Ex boyfriend is being douchetastic, keeps sending me things on facebook that get more and more blatant attempts at manipulation. Most of it is things he thinks I should change about myself prettied up as friendly advice, when really he doesn't know shit about me or what I should do, and has no right to give me such rude-ass advice. He's moving in with my cousin, her boyfriend, and her roommates (they all rent in a large house) so this is just gonna be jolly! Not gonna stop me from visiting my cousin and friends, though.

 

Well then we should have a lemon party. Er, wait....no ....scratch that. Nevermind. *Huggs Misskin*

 

Ever have days where you don't want to get out of bed? not sad, not mad...just wanna stay in bed...today was like that for me :/

 

I get that, but mostly because my bed is super comfortable, and I'm not a morning person.

 

I want to stay in bed to get rid of this headache.

 

Usually I stay in bed when I've got nothing to do. But if I can't sleep I get super fidgety so I get frustrated.

 

Lost a friend over my depression...some days I just don't feel motivation to get up out of bed even if I have lots of reason to and I actually want to but my body refuses to let me get up out of bed...whatever I guess its an excuse cause I'm a terrible person :/ I know I can't vent about this on tumblr or sjws will think i'm kawaii desu and should enjoy being motivationless cause to them its yet another quirky trait and not an issue. If its a time I just don't wanna leave bed cause its nice I do eventually pull myself out, but if I feel no mood to...I just lie there like a stone even if I have things planned that day...and I did today...and he thinks I stood him up when in reality I could not sleep, and when I actually did sleep and wake up I found no way to pull myself out of bed...and when I did I wake up to a nice message about how i'm a back stabbing POS....what a great way to make me feel and make me feel more like garbage over depression...guess I need a stronger dose next time I talk to my Dr...