My maternal grandmother died on Tuesday. Her funeral was today. Her husband was also in the process of dying actually. They both had terminal stage 4 lung cancer. He died today, after her funeral. If that's as morbid as you care to get, read no further.
Today, the hospital in their hometown allowed us to conduct the funeral in the building so that my grandfather could attend. His entire family was there, friends, cousins, his late wife's family, all kinds of people. We lined a long hall, both sides, end to end, as he was wheeled down to the far room on his gurney. It was about as perfect a gathering of loved ones as I could imagine. People who hadn't seen him yet were suddenly crying, hearing him struggling to breathe. We all filed into the room, and began a catholic service. His breathing was terrible, so the nurses only gave him a few minutes. It was enough time for him to see her one last time, and see who had come for her. A nephew of his that had cut contact with the family was there. A son of his who had been unwilling to come just hours before was there after all. He was wheeled back out and the tears were still flowing. People found it harder seeing him dying than they did seeing her already at peace.
She was buried at 2:30. Around 6PM my boyfriend and I joined my Mom and Aunt (his daughters) at the hospital to see him. We spent about an hour with him, listening to his struggle to breathe, getting a fright every time his breathing suddenly stopped for 15 seconds. He was on a lot of morphine and had been sleeping for hours. At 7:22 he suddenly stopped breathing, And the death rattle that had been his only sign of life for hours stopped at last.
It was as if he held on just long enough to know that she was at rest. He saw her off properly, and passed away in his sleep, about 60 hours after his wife. It was the first time I've ever seen somebody die. Despite my tears, it was a moment of relief. He was kind and quiet and never complained about a thing. When asked how he felt this morning he whispered "I don't know."
On the way home, I asked my boyfriend how he was doing, and suddenly his autopilot shut off and he had a breakdown in the middle of the road, while he was driving. I drove us home as we talked about the nature of death, and we cleared our heads. Tomorrow I am calling into work for an additional two days and staying with my family right through Canadian Thanksgiving. He'll be buried right next to his wife as soon as legally possible.
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